Wordless Wednesday~ A lesson in independence.

Place the most precious thing in the entire universe on moving horse, maintaining vice like grip.

Begin journey: up and down, round and round.

No need to guess who the photographer was. 

Suddenly the most precious thing in the universe no longer wishes to be held on to. 

Could he really be ready? I know I am not.

I guess the lesson is really for me, not him. 

Give them wings and all that, right? 

Daylight Savings tips for toddlers

Before I had one of these running around:

I never thought that Daylight Savings time was a big deal. Spring forward? Cool, one extra hour to sleep in. Fall back? Well, I'd just have to drag my sorry booty to class 'early' for a few days until I got used to it or, more likely, oversleep. Hmmm. Why didn't I finish that Anthropology degree again?

But now that the wee one is here I see just how the panic rises as the date moves closer and threatens the holiest of holies: the sleep schedule.

Daylight Savings is one hour to be fretted over, dreaded, and dare I say it - feared?

Fear no longer, mothers of the world (for I know it is by and large YOU that handle the havoc that is wrecked upon our (non) sleeping babes), I have found the answer.

GO TO HAWAII!!! 

What's one measly hour to a toddler? pffft. Nothing. Let's talk about six. Six hour difference...and then oh! let's toss in a spring forward just for fun, k?

Perhaps you think I jest, but I do not!
Day one: fly to Los Angeles from Washington, D.C., giving baby a smack of 3 hours difference. Whoohooo!!! We landed at 10 p.m.- 1 a.m. for the kiddo. Kid will be so jacked up and wiggly from being contained in a flying tube of steel that he will race around the apartment until midnight LA time...THREE A.M. D.C. time. *sigh*

Day two: Toddler will sleep until around 10 a.m. LA time, suhweet! Naptime...if he will do it, at 2 p.m., then bed at 10...progress y'all!
Day three: Toddler up at 8 a.m. LA time~ no nap, as we are off to Hawaii!!! Kid up till midnight again...which is now 3 a.m. LA time, and 6 a.m. DC time. (*note, mothers are allowed a small sob fest due to extreme exhaustion)
Day four: HAWAII! Kid sleeps til 9 a.m. Hawaii time...thank.God. Refuses nap, preferring to hold concert in lobby:

Then passes out in the lobby mid guitar strum.

Bedtime @ 10:30 p.m. not perfect, but we'll take it!

Day 5 officially on Hawaii time! Although refuses to sleep in hotel provided crib, insisting on sharing bed with Daddy. (Mommy thanks heaven for two separate beds in the room! whoohoo!)

Day 6...Daylight Savings time. I loathe you.

Then before you know it, it's back to Los Angeles; and we start all over again!
Day one, bedtime 12:30 a.m. *yawn*
Day two: sleeps til 10:30 a.m. and refuses nap, fights bedtime, finally collapsing in the cutest little heap ever at 10:30 p.m.

Day three....I'll let you know. But one little hour doesn't seem so bad now does it.

So, I say if you must battle the time change, you should all do it in:

HAWAII!

Go for it, for while the time change may be a struggle, you will be struggling in paradise. And the pina coladas don't hurt either!

** Thank you all for your sweet tweets/comments/emails about the little ones face. A few days of hydrocortizone and it is on the ment. Still there, but barely noticible.I appreciate your concern.

Wordless Wednesday~ Pearl Harbor

On top of the world at Pearl Harbor

He is most definitely my whole world.

Dads are from Mars, Moms are from Guilt-upiter.

We are back on the Mainland (do I sound like an Islander? I've giving it a whirl, but I don't think it's working, I feel like a poser. Oh wait, I totally am!) I could have stayed in Oahu forever, but we did get to scratch all our 'must-do's" and "must-buys" off of our list so yay us! I hula'd and Zach surfed and Max swam in the wa-wa, blew our minds learning a ton of new words and signs, and took a 'tar lesson, I would give this trip an A-.

 It would be an A + except for the fact that I failed as a mother.

*sigh*

The day after the beautiful wedding of Danny and Tim we all headed out to Hanauma Bay to snorkel (a must do on the ol' bucket list) and despite keeping Max under a near constant mister of 10000 spf, he still got a sunburn. I got crazy burned, but what else is new. Big deal...but the baby getting sunburned? Total heart attack - I want-to-kill-myself-mom-failure.
He wasn't so much sunburned as sunkissed. Whatever you call it, he was a loverly shade of pink which only adds to the whole pudgy pigletness of him.

I swoon for that piglet.

Once he was stripped of his swimsuit and the beach was washed away, I basically freaked. It became increasingly clear that moms and dads just deal with things differently. Not that dads don't care; but it's just a boatload of difference. It went a bit like this:

Me: Oh no! Max has a little sunburn!
Zach: Oh, poor dude.
Me: Oh my God, how could this happen? I sprayed him constantly and put extra stuff on his face! My poor baby! He's so pink. We need some aloe. We have to get some aloe, we need it rightthisveryminute! Do you want to go or should I?
Zach: (turning on CNN) eh.
Me: ok, I'll go. Keep an eye on him. Do you think we should give him some Tylenol? Do you think he hurts?
Zach: he's ok, he's barely pink!
Me: I'll be right back.

At which point I race down to the hotel gift shop and practically assault the poor, sweet, 19 year old girl working behind the counter.

Me: Do you have Aloe? I need some Aloe, my baby has a suburn!
Her: Yeah sure, here you go.
Me: Do you maybe have one of those little whip things? You know the ones the Priests use to punish themselves? Like the Davinci Code?
Her: uh...we have a feathered gord for hula dancing.
Me: Can I beat myself up with that? Because I am like theworstmothereverandIletmybabygetsunburned.
Her: ummm, I don't think so. It's for dancing.
Me: What about a stamp that I could put smack dab on my forhead, that like says MOM FAIL or something? Oh! Or a T-shirt that says it. Like a scarlet letter of motherhood failure, to let everyone know how awful I am as like part of some pennance?
Her: We have conch shell necklaces.

She was right. That would be worse than a scarlet letter or a mom fail stamp across my forhead. *shudder* I couldn't bring myself to suffer the necklace of 1987 coolness and thus resolved to continue the (not so) silent berating of myself for being the worst.mother.ever. (tm).

Also, I made up all of that conversation past "do you have Aloe?" and" yeah, here you go."

But I felt it. I felt his sunburn as an utter failure. My husband? Well, he was obviously (and appropriately I might add) concerned but it didn't mark a complete failure of his skills in the fathering department.

And here's something they never tell you: your sweet baby might be allergic to a certain kind of sunblock. It might make his face red. You might then surmise that he is getting sun and apply more of it, until you realize it is not a burn, or a 'heat rash' as everyone is so quick to dismiss it, but in actuality a bad reaction to something you have been purposely applying to your child. Repeatedly.

I'll take that conch shell necklace now. Mea Culpa.

this hurts my soul.

ALOHA! That's Princess Kikipania to you!

It's no skin off my nose that Port Charles has totally lagged on setting up my Embassy and my diplomatic immunity (no stripper killing for me. *sigh*) ( also, I do not in any way sanction killing strippers, or anyone really. Just for the record.). Because this week I am abandoning the fictional city for the real life heaven of Hawaii. Waikiki to be specific.
We've been here less than 24 hours and it's like a dream world. The flight with the toddler tyrant was long, but good and from the moment we landed there's been some sort of Fairy Godmother following me about.
As soon as I turned on my phone *brrrrrrring* (that's the fairy godmother's wand waving sound FYI) tweets and emails galore alerting me that this lil old blog is in the Fashion and Style section of the New York Times.
Let's just have an SATC Charlotte York moment for that. Or maybe it's a Carrie Bradshaw moment, since it's about writing and since the humidity has my hair more SJP than usual. Whatever, I can float on that for ages kids.
We arrive at the Sheraton Waikiki *brrrrring* room upgraded. Ocean view. Holy Buckets! (LENT!) It's straight out of a movie. I've never seen such beautiful water...and turtles. Just big old sea turtles hanging out. I'm in love.

I am now fully ensconced in pretending this is my every day life. Forget Madame Ambassador (for now), I've moved on to Island Princess Kikipania (my name in Hawaiian. Its so much cooler in Hawaiin, non?)

I am also thinking of rocking the flower in the hair look on the regular. Specifically at innapropriate times. Like the next big blizzard in D.C. you'll just see me cruising about with a hibiscus tucked behind my ear. Flowers in the hair is the Hawaiian tiara. I am an equal opportunity tiara employer.


My feet have only touched the ground twice, an astonishingly gross blowout a'la toddler booty, and while sampling some of the local food at Cheesecak Factory (HA!) they served this vegetarian chicken in in my salad. That'll learn me!

 Rolled out of bed to this *brrrrrring*

A room with a view, dude.

Then like magic, *brrrrring* coffee and breakfast arrived. Is it just me or are the bananas here crazy delicious? They're like dessert bananas. And don't get me started on the pineapple...swoon.

This would be just one of the pools. *brrrring*

Pool ends, ocean begins. Beautiful.

It's not just a magical land for me thus far. There's a real live Ukele store here in the Sheraton, and those cats took the time to show Max a few more moves and encourage his 'atar' love even more. Yes. We bought one. And a spare.

*brrrring*

Thank you to the Sheraton Waikiki for allowing the little dude to hold am impromptu concert in the lobby.

We had a quick run through for Danny and Tim's wedding tomorrow:

*brrrring*

And now here I sit, in the lobby enjoying my soy latte and free internet and computer access while the breeze wafts through.

*brrrrring*

It's like they knew I was coming and planned accordingly.

And now if you'll excuse me, we are off to feed some Koi.

WWJD, its not what Sonny would do!

Godson Ben is Stachetastic.

Zach may be having too much fun with this iPhone app.

Ah. Los Angeles. I woke up this morning looked out the window and saw my palm trees! I am home. I do love D.C. but being here...I just feel at home. I LOVE LA.

WWJD came and picked us up and now we are in the land of Weeds and Big Love. Santa Clarita!
We are settled in at the kitchen table, the baby is napping and we're catching up and gabbing about General Hospital and tearing Sonny Corinthos a new one. I mean...if we could in real life we got a thing or two to tell him.
Like...uh, saying "I wouldn't have shot Dante if I'd known he was my son!"
Because shooting an unarmed cop is A-ok as long as they are not your son.
WWJD and I both love GH, in college we had class from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. General Hospital was on at 2. Perfect for grabbing some chow and collapsing on the living room floor with all our friends to watch.
Even to this day I love watching with friends because we all comment, laugh and yell at the screen.

It's funny because this week we actually ended up having a great chat about how far we would go to protect our kids, since Sonny is,yet again, excercising excellent parental judgement by getting Michael out of the country. Whille I myself may not agree with Sonny's choices, I would stop at nothing to protect my kid. Especially if like Michael, he was innocent. And believe you me, Max better be innocent. I believe in responsibility for your actions, so I am already working with Max on cause and effect and consquences for his actions.
I mean he's 19 months so it's basically ya know, if you throw your food then you're done eating. We're not talking grounding him!
But if God forbid Max were in danger...I'd stop at nothing to keep him safe. I worry about bullying. I worry about gangs at school, and I worry about if I would overeact to it. Will I be the mom who marches into the principal's office at the drop of a hat?
I'd like to think not. I know that one of the hardest parts of parenting is letting your child fight their own battles and teaching them to be strong and true to themselves. For now our battles are small and easily negotiated. Share your toys, no hitting, the easy stuff. But I know that soon enough there will be fighting and wrestling. And then dating, and learning how to treat girls with respect while negotiating the bizarre ego filled world of young adulthood.
So strange how General Hospital caused a whole talk about how far we would go for our kids. It's pretty damn far. I'm guessing you would go to the end of the earth too.

And now if you'll excuse me, I hear the little one waking.  I'm going to go and enjoy this gorgeous afternoon and just throroughly enjoy watching my kid play with WWJD's son.

Again, it's just as it should be.

Just like we planned...

 Max and Zu in a rare moment of rest. 

Please note that Zu is completely dressed while Max is rocking a shirt, diaper, and one sock, with iPhone at the ready.

He's fashion forward.

When Dub and I were little we would play Let's Pretend. A lot. Stunning we both became performers, non? There were always handsome husbands, brilliant careers and beautiful babies.
When we were pregnant we dreamed about what our lives would be like once the babies arrived. the play dates we would have, lunches at our favorite place and of course...sneaking away during nap time while the boys dozed.

And by boys, I of course mean both our sons and our husbands.

We landed in Los Angeles safe and sound after what might have been the longest flight in the history of toddler hood. Max powered through 5 hours of flight from 8 p.m. till 2 a.m. (his time) falling asleep finally just as the the pilot announced "We are now beginning our descent into Los Angeles."
He was utterly entertained the entire time thanks to the fantabulous touch screen t.v. Thank you Virgin America! Everyone was really great with Max, except for of course one woman right in front of us who let out a great, heaving moan of martyrdom anytime he so much as giggled. Starting from the moment we boarded the plane it was a plane full of moaning in annoyance if he so much asked for milk.

Suck it woman, we were doing the best we could!

There was only one 3 minute period where the kiddo just freaked out, I felt terrible for all the others around us. Except for that woman. Again. She could suck it.

 Max partied like a rockstar til 1 a.m. (for the faint of heart that would be FOUR AM his time) before we convinced him to pass out. He was up bright and early with the the sun at 7:30.
It was a near literal reenactment of Dawn of the Dead over here. But so worth it. the boys quickly made friends and as we adults indulged in coffee, Max and Zuzu shared bananas.

It was so amazing to see them running around together, the same height, two little heads bobbing up and down as they raced around the house getting into things together.

Just like we planned.

We headed out to meet our friend Sean at Aroma Cafe, our favorite place. the boys were still tired and crazy and just basically toddler with a captial T. We all took turns toddler baby wrangling.

Just as it should be.

After some serious nap fighting (how can two such tired boys fight sleep so hard!) Dub and I escaped for a mani/pedi and Starbucks run.

Perfect.

This evening was exactly as I dreamed it would be.The menfolk grabbed us some delicious Mexican food and the kids chowed down then it was Toddler Dance Party time!  The boys played, wrestled and  laughed. There were rousing renditions of Ring Around the Rosey, much toddler tossing in  the air. It was just....utterly perfect.

Tomorrow we are off to WWJD's for some more dreams coming true. Seeing Max and Godson Ben playing together...another 'Just like we planned.

Hawaii 5-O.

Today we take off to Los Angeles, and then to HAWAII!! I am so looking forward to this, despite two 5 hour flights with a toddler. Heaven help us all.
Luckily between the flights there will be two days of play time with sister Dub, WWJD, and their two amazing little boys Zuzu and Ben.
I cannot wait!
After our little LA respite we'll be off to celebrate the union of Max's Guncles. I am honored to be performing the ceremony as these two lovebirds finally make honest men out of one another.
And to anyone who bristles about the sanctity of marriage I present to you:

Photo from ABC.com

Max's Guncles have been together for longer than my husband and I, and I am so looking forward to the big party celebrating their decision to spend the rest of their lives together. I will try to blog from Hawaii, and at least post some lovely pictures...although I must warn you, I appear to be impervious to spray tans and self tanners. So, I'd like to apologize in advance for my whiter shade of paleness and invite you to possibly don sunglasses before viewing the upcoming pictures so as to avoid white blinded eye damage.

I'm a little nervy about flying with a toddler who in the last three days has suddenly gone from easy going dude, to TODDLER TYRANT! The tantrums this sweet angel is throwing are dramatical to say the least. I wonder where on earth he might have inherited that from?

Harumph.

Anyhoo, I've found the sunblock and packed everything I can until the Stinker wakes from his nap...and away we go! Wish us luck!!!

I'll try to pop on, but since we live in the 90's and have not a laptop amongst us (HOW WILL I SURVIVE!) it might not happen. I hope you will all patiently await my return, I promise to regail you with silly tales of the islands. Promise.  And then be patient again, as I try to catch up on my blog reading, which is certain to be crazy overwhelming!

And now to find the sunblock...

The time is drawing close for me to pack up my newly acquired bathing suits and a half ton of sunblock and head to La-La Land, and then to Hawaii. I can feel the warmth settling into my bones already. Can you feel it too?
My toes are wiggling with glee at their new pedicure and just chomping at the bit to get at their old pals Flip Flops (not thongs, not thongs, not thongs. I'm still working on it). I've got a new set of shades just for the occasion and even got some that Max will keep on for more than a split second.

only the coolest of dudes fall asleep in their shades.

Of course my bags are not packed...who packs ahead of time! That's no fun! Nah, I'll be running around like crazy up until we leave.

That will make the big sigh of relief once we are on that plane all the better.

Hey D.C. when I return I'd like it to be Spring. Like, for real. None of this one day of 65 degree weather and then bam! the next day is 40 and rainy. Real live Spring. I want the grass greening up, I want flowers beginning to break thru the ground. I want to see people smiling and happy and everyone outside soaking up the sun and the fresh air. Cause D.C., I gotta say you are one GORGEOUS city in the Spring.
Thanks, Me.

I've achieved my vacation weight loss goal, with only about 10 lbs to go till I reach my full weight loss goal, and reach my pre-pg (and coincidentally my high school graduation) weight. I wanted to do this so that I would feel comfortable enough to enjoy the trip, and to like the pictures that will be taken. Oh, I'll still edit and veto the heck out of them, but I'm pretty excited that I did it! I may or may not be bringing my favorite pre baby jeans that I can not only fit into, but I don't look like a stuffed sausage while wearing them. Dude, that's like the brass ring right there!

My grandmother had this saying, it's "God said 'HA!'" Today I myself almost said HA! out loud. I am not a person who takes joy in others suffering. Really. I mean unless you're a total jerkface. Which none of you are. But today as I once again plugged my earphones in and tuned into Las Vegas and climbed my hills on the elliptical the gym manager came by me. On his crutches. Bet he's regretting those 50 billion calories now!  Clearly God smote him for his rampant consumption of pizza and donuts, ruthlessly flaunting it in the faces of those who are fighting off those insidious Girl Scouts at every turn!
I still hope he heals quickly.

My child loves another...

It's true. My sweet angel boy who up until now has only had eyes for me, had fallen for another. I can't compete. She is far outta my league....

You can read all about it here:

 DC METRO MOMS BLOG

Please take a second and follow me over there for my inaugural post! I am thrilled to have been asked to contribute to this site!

Wordless Wednesday~ On the late tip.

Otherwise known as Sisyphus, oh Sisyphus part duex.

9:00 a.m.

9:10 a.m.

9:17 a.m.

Sisyphus! Oh Sisyphus!

Before I had a baby I always thought of Sisyphus whenever I did laundry. As soon as I managed to finished it all and had it put away there were many more loads to be washed. Sigh.

So naive. 

One tiny baby not only increases the laundry exponentially but the same tiny baby brings a Sisyphusian (Sisyphian?) element to activities never before thought imaginable.

Example one.
 Every morning, every afternoon and at least 10 times in the evening The Stinker and I have the same battle of wills. Yesterday I won round twenty. Today I lost round one.

Submitted for your approval: (please note the Cheerio on the right shoulder, he's saving it for later.)

"Who me?"

"But Mommy, you told me to wash my hands!"

Like Puppy, like baby. 

In case you're wondering, yes, he does kiss his mother with that mouth.

He is obsessed with the dog and the cats, a.k.a. "Dawg!" and "Mo!" (All cats are Mo. Ya got one cat named Mo then all cats in the universe are clearly named Mo. That's logic y'all! It's adorable, but has proven embarrassing a time or two, say when you're at the mall and there's a guy and say he's wearing a shirt with like a tiger on it and Max joyously cries out "Mo! A Mo!") I am fighting the good fight, but like Sisyphus, that rock just rolls down the hill every ten minutes or so. 

It's a dang good thing my little rock is just the sweetest thing around. 

How Stephie got her groove back.

It doesn't involve Taye Diggs. Dangit.

On Friday both Zach and I served as panelists for the Maryland State Theatre Festival. Oh yeah, me. Public speaking. In front of the most cut throat audience ever. High school students.  I once again cursed the pharmacutical companies for having not yet come up with a safe-for-nursing Xanax. Going back to high school is well, odd. And you know what instantly cuts your authority by like twenty billion percent? Using the high school lav with the very gals that you'll be talking to in five minutes. Also? The bathrooms are still gross. For being the neater sex, the 14-18 crowd is nastay in the loo.  I would have avoided it except, I don't know about you, but when I get nervous my bladder becomes the size of an edamame. An edamame having a seizure. Yes. That's exactly what it's like.
After 10 or so trips, it was finally time to face the music and the kidlets all poured in and took their seats. I was first. Of course.
Amazingly enough I didn't humiliate myself! *the crowd goes wild* I may have rambled a bit, but I made them laugh a time or two and managed to cover everything I wanted to. It was incredible! I really was made aware how much I love my job and how I am actually ready to get back to it...a little at a time of course!
 Let me tell you people, there is hope for our youth! High school students get such a bad rap, but the kids I met with were intelligent, funny, smart, respectful and it was just a great time. Not to mention that post panel a couple of the girls came up to tell me they loved my fashion sense, even though all my bits and pieces were covered. Ha! Favorite dress scored again.

Favorite dress:

I take all my fashion shots at IKEA. I recommend it highly. 

p.s. That's not our sippy cup. Random abandoned sippy.

We also left Max with a sitter for the very first time. My God, I was so tense about that! Not that I don't trust the woman we left him with, I do! But leaving him, for such a long time, with someone other than family for the first time was stressful. Blissfully unaware of my stressy-ness, Max napped for three of the four and a half hours we were gone. Good job, dude.

I learned several lessons on Friday:

1. *cough* years and 3000 miles, it doesn't matter. High schools all smell the same.
2. I forgot how pretty my engagement ring is! The gallery is so high I have scratched the baby with it so I rarely wear it. I stared at it all day, sparkly. 
3. I can in fact still do make up! Didn't even poke myself in the eye with the liner. Success.
4. I can in fact, still do my hair! Didn't even burn myself with the curling iron. HUGE success.
5. The hairspray I bought months ago but never used before Friday smells exactly like the hairspray my grandmother used to use. Totally freaked me out.
6. It was not Aqua Net thankyouverymuch.
7. If you don't eat all day because you are nervous, you will be ravenous once the nerve-wracking event is over.
8. There might be nothing to eat but Dunkin' Donuts.
9. They were gooooooooooooooood.
10. I blame the gym manager.