Dear Iphone,

Dear iPhone,

I have been meaning to talk to you for a while, although this weekends events have changed the tone of this letter. You see, you and I have recently been fighting. A lot. Maybe we're too close? I don't know, but things that didn't bother me when we first got together have recently become almost unbearable.

For one thing, you dissapear for hours at a time and I can't find you. I page you...but you don't answer. And don't say it's MY fault because I always have you on silent. Not everything can by my fault y'know. Can't you please just stick by me? I mean we made a vow, for at least two years, and we've got several months left in our union. If losing you was a drinking game I would be drunk everyday.

For another thing,  I know you think it's really funny, but for reals it's not. Stop flipping back and forth between landscape and portrait. I'm not moving at all...stop flipping! I know you get an even bigger laugh at my expense when I do desperately try to move you to catch up. I'm sure it's really funny, how I look like a grandma playing Super Mario Brothers. Leaning to the left does not make Mario go to the left any more than it makes you hold still.

Despite all of this, I think I owe you an apology. The other day I was so annoyed over my futile Cholula quest...(seriously Cholula, why are you more elusive than the holy grail?) I hopped out of the car and raced in the house, grumpier than Snow White's 5th dwarf. After dinner I realized I couldn't find you, and I looked. I did. But you dissapear so frequently these days, I didn't worry too much.I'm sort of used to it. Really, I just hopped on the computer and then went to bed watching the lightening and listening to the thunder rolling in and the rain hitting the window. It was a great storm.

In the morning I awoke desperate to find you. I was in a panic, frantically looking everywhere. Where were you? Did anyone text me? I knew you must be starved, your battery nearly worn out. I looked all over the house, finally setting out on the damp driveway making my way to the car.

It was then that I spied you. Oh no. You lay facedown in the grass like a college freshman. Soaking wet from the rain. I fell to the ground beside you, cradling you in my arms saying a prayer over you. I gently pushed the button and you feebly fluttered your eyes.

You awoke. It was like a Christmas miracle! In May. I warmed you and dried you off as best I could then gave you the sustanance you craved. I can't believe you came back to me without so much as a scratch!

I apologize, for not seeing how truly special you are. I'll try not to get bogged down in the annoying habits that a long term loving couple develops. Instead, I'll think of you waiting out the rainstorm, fighting to get back to me.

Let's play Words With Friends for a while, and then whaddya say I take ya somewhere special. How about the Apple store? Would you like a new protective case? Let's get you something pretty.
It would be great if you could stop that annoying flipping thing though. And I'll try to stop dropping you so much. Deal?

Love,
Minky

God Bless America My Home Sweet Home

Happy Memorial Day ! {?}

{source}

Isn't it odd how a holiday that mourns and honors our fallen has morphed into welcoming summer with barbeques, picnics and parades?

I know some people feel this is disrespectful but I feel that it's fitting. After all, truly, is there anything more truly American than kids running around, neighbors and friends meeting up and talking, everyone getting out of the house to grill up some {veggie} burgers and bust out the watermelon?

{None for me thanks I'm allergic. Yes, to watermelon. It's a total tragedy.}

Anyway, isn't that America at it's finest? The simplicity of summer, of children's laughter, the smell of food wafting through the neighborhood...fantastic parades, and the music! oh, I am a sucker for a good march.

To me, this is the American way of life at it's best. For all of us. Color, creed, religion. None of it matters. Everyone loves to hear their child laugh, to feel the warmth of the sun soaking in to our winter-fied bones, our eyes drinking in all the colors of the grass, now green, and the flowers. It's glorious, isn't it?

To me, this is what our men and women died for. To me this is American. And every child's laugh today is like a bell giving an angel his/her wings. Every joyous laugh from a child lifts a soldier up.

The willingness to give up your very life - to leave your children, your home - to go across the world to fight for freedom. Sometimes, not agreeing with the fight, but believing in the ideals of freedom itself. This, this idealism, this bravery is breathtaking.

So, to those who served and serve still, thank you.

To those who have lost loved ones, my heart aches for you, my soul thanks you for your sacrifice. May my son's giggles tomorrow heal your heart, just a little bit, as his first popsicle drips down his chin and onto his new All American Boy t-shirt, know that while we are laughing and smiling and enjoying the day we know, I know, that the sacrifice your loved ones made is what protects this...this beautiful day where we all stop and smell the apple pie.

They did not give their lives in vain.

We will be attending the parade, and as The Boss grows up, he will learn about the day and why it is a Holiday. His great grandfathers fought in WW2 and his Bob-Bob served in the army during Vietnam. By the grace of God, they all survived. We are so grateful.
By relishing the sun and the celebrations, please know that I haven't forgotten your service, your sacrifice, I honor it. I honor it by enjoying the very things your loved one died for, the things your loved one loved too.

There are no words in the English language, nor I suspect in any known tongue on this earth, to convey my thanks, my gratitude, my very soul filled love and appreciation for you. All of you. Those who serve. Those who are families of those who serve...for you serve too.

And lastly, for those who died. Bless you. Bless you. Bless you.


And God Bless America.

Forget Moms Clubs, It's all about MOMZSHARE!

Dare I say I am beginning to make a life here in the D.C. Metro area? I think I am. One of the things that has helped quell my insane homesickness for the land of breast implants and Lohan court dates is Momzshare. Momzshare is the brainchild of Lara from Chicken Nuggets of Wisdom and Jennifer from Hip as I Wanna Be. Check those hot chicks out because it is no exaggeration to say that the two of them have made the DC Metro area a lot more like home for me.


I tried the moms club route and was met with, how to say this nicely, the cold shoulder. Well harumph right back at ya! I don't need you! I've got 80 brilliant funny and fabulous bloggers to hang with! If you are in the DC Metro area I seriously recommend you join us! I can guarantee you a good time.


This past Saturday's Momzshare was held at The Little Gym in Silver Spring, MD. How fun! I can't wait to take Max there. I was only sad we didn't really get to swing on the uneven bars. Although we did have wine, so perhaps it was a wise choice to prevent 80+ tipsy mommy bloggers (and non moms too!) from going crazy on the kids equipment! I kid - we were very well behaved. I had a great time chatting with several of the girls I had met before and met many more funny women who I may or may not be currently blog stalking. The concept of Momzshare is to get fabulous women together for networking and fun...and maybe to do a little good. So while we were all buying raffle tickets  for fantabulous prizes like crazy amounts of awesomeness from BitMoms and La Papillion Spa while scarfing down cupcakes and vegan soup (oh, asparagus soup...I've been dreaming of you!) we were actually giving money to Team Why Mommy.




It was a great time from start to finish. Great food, great women, great conversation. Won't you join us next time? Cause for reals, wild horses couldn't keep me from the next Momzshare!


Lauree from SimplyLeap spoke to us about finding our passions. It's always interesting when you have to boil it down to one word what you are really passionate about.





What's your one word?




(see this? random background? that would be why I'm moving. wth! and no...no, I've not highlighted it.)

The curious case of the toddler and the porn-like music.

Last night as I did the stand and sway, nursing my little cherub to sleep- which is getting more difficult by the day, they grow so fast - The Boss reached a up a sweet chubby little hand, placed in on my cheek and said "Baby Mine".

Swoon.

One more round of Baby Mine on the house little one! As his eyes fluttered, fighting sleep, he popped off blinked his big blue eyes at me and said:

Bow chicka bow wow!

Um. Excuse me? I asked, what did you say?

Bow chicka bow woooooooow, Mommy!

I kissed his goose egged forehead and went downstairs hoping and praying that my mother in law and sister in law, who both were cheerleaders had taught him the Booma Chicka Boom cheer.  Nope. Neither one had, although they vowed to do so.

Next up I cornered the men in the fam...the likeliest suspects, non? Who on earth, said I, has been exposing my child to porn, or at the very least terrible cheesy porn-like music?!

Shakespeare really should have written "Hell hath no fury like a mother who thinks someone has shown her baby something innapropriate". Although, that doesn't have quite as good a ring to it.

The boys faces quickly paled and both denied any such thing, of course. They never would do such a thing. (for real, they NEVER would do something. This child is so very loved and protected, I always say to him that I wish all babies in the world were as loved as he is) I may have been a little, how you say, irrational? And craving chocolate like a crack whore craves crack. You get the point. The menfolk both wracked their brains to figure out where The Boss could have learned such a musical phrase!

Aha! Cried TOTT. The Motown documentary they watched several days ago! The Boss had loved the section where they laid down the tracks one by one and the bassist vocalized his line along with playing.
Boom. Chicka. Bow. Wow.
They had replayed it several times for him. Cause he's The Boss.
Phew.

My child, not exposed to porn at all, just a run of the mill musical genius.

I hereby rename the Toddler stage "Disaster Machine"

Springsteen exit stage left. There's a new boss taking over!

The other day as I was blissfully watching a little Law & Order on the stationary bike at the gym when one of the male trainers came out of the day care and said to me "man, your kid is a trip!"

I feel that Max is SO safe at the gym daycare, from the moment we walk in every one who works there says hello to Max, knows his name. The trainers take the time to go in and play ball with him while he is there. No one could get through them to get to my kid. In fact TOTT went in not to long ago in the evening and the girl behind the counter squinted at him and asked "are you Max's dad?"

Our new roles are as parents to the real star of the show...The Boss.

The Boss, you say? We've never heard that one before! Sweet Baby Max, or King Max yes but The Boss? No. Well, get used to it.

The trainer proceeded to tell me what a kick they get out of him and how he does this thing now where if he wants to do something or wants you to get something for him he will forcibly take your hand and put it on what he wants or lead you over to wherever he wants to go and command you with a "THIS!" and follow it with a blink of his cartoon baby eyes and a sweet voiced "peas?" And so the they had taken to calling my sweet baby The Boss.

He is indeed The Boss. I mean really, I am the boss. I may have made him eggless cookie dough as a treat today but then I put my foot down and wouldn't give in to the cupcake. See? I'm in charge! of course then I spent an hour on youtube playing Beatles videos, so maybe he really is in charge.

Oh well, when your kid is under the weather you do things like make 'em cookie dough and play Beatles vidoes, right? RIGHT?

We spent Sunday in the E.R. It was decidedly not awesome. The Boss was climbing and slid, smashing his face on the edge of the entertainment center. Ma (Grandma) was watching him at the time and she was inconsolable, but it could have happened on any of our watches.

Because toddlers are disaster machines.

The gum above his right front tooth was split to the bone- good lord! seeing your childs bone should never happen- and he tore the connector from his lip to his gum. As you can imagine blood was gushing at nearly rate of the oil spill. It was terrifying. Afterfour hours in the emergency room we left with a 'it'll heal itself' and a prescription for anitbiotics. He vascilates between playing fine and being miserable. Poor baby!

Just an FYI, if your kid is miserable I do indeed suggest eggless cookie dough. Bonus for you, it's yummy so you can drown your 'my baby is sick' sorrows in it too! The Boss loved it so much he did his version of Snoopy's happy dance while singing 'Happy Day!" It slays me with cute.

Anyway, he's been extra cuddly and snuggly and I've been drinking in that sweet baby skin. He is intoxicating, even if his feet now smell like feet and not marshmallows. When did that happen? It's going too fast. But I am still drunk with love for my little klutzy boy. Maybe he did actually inherit something from me after all.

Sorry about that, little dude.

In fact right now I'm trying to decide whether the lovely new goose egg smack in the middle of his forehead makes him look more like a Cyclops or as if he is sprouting a unicorn horn. I think unicorn horn. I also think it's time for more Tylenol (generic, natch)

I leave you with this, in NY we hit up a music class at with DadaRocks and his adorable son Marc. Marc and The Boss made quick friends and had a glorious time together. Plus, the teacher could for real and for true play the guitar. The Boss' mind was blown. He just stood there for a few, taking it all in before he finally let loose and boogied till he couldn't boogie no mo!

The good stuff starts about 30 seconds in, it also features Marc. This kid is so cute I could eat him up. Luckily I have my own kiddo to snack on because we had just met DadaRocks and his wife...I'm not sure if munching on their child would have made the proper first impression.

The Boss spins it right round, baby, right round.

Really, is there anything cuter than babies rocking it out??? Sigh. It makes my heart happy.

Newsies! Get your papes! And also the Parade de Douche heads back into town!

If I eat it [the rose] I can take it into my soul and no one else can ever have it ~ Kyle, The Bachelorette.

It's Bachelorette time! Squee! I can't decide if I love the Bachelor better or Bachelorette. It's like Sophie's choice up in this joint! I mean, on one show there is a bevvy of buxom totally insane chics and maybe one or two normal ones who will never get picked *cough* Melissa *cough*, but on the other show there's utterly idiotic doucheberg's having the most bizarre pissing contest evah.

I love it. And last night the Parade de Douches came into town in a line of loonies worthy of mardi gras. It's gonna be a good season. They got all Lord of the Flies on the introductory episode, so I'm pretty sure that soon it's about to become a Survivor/Bachelorette blend. Or maybe Running Man. Whatever, this season is headed to a dark place. Suicides, stalking, and girlfriends! I can't wait!!! If you want to snark and giggle, join me and TOTT  on Twitter during the show!

Change of subject:

I was approached by NVIDIA about my netbook and how much I love it, which I do, and they made this little video of me! Check it out! (also, file in narcisissm)

 Things we can mock:
1.my voice. what the heck? I am so squeeky. I guess that's why I book a lot of character cartoony- voice overs.
2. My outfit at the park. It was laundry day. Also, horrible posture and excellent muffin top. Tossing that sweater out as soon as I find it.
3. TOTT in his shorts. Awesome tan. But how cute is he?
It was a blast to shoot! And since I do love my netbook, it was no lie.

One last bit of biz:
Hopefully you've all noticed my little message at the top of this blog! Look up...go on. Yup! We are mooooooovin on up. (to the East Side). You know how you can do your own mani/pedi and dye your hair, maybe give yourself a facial and you look in the mirror and think "dang! Well done me, I look pretty good!" but then like, for your birthday or Mother's day you get to go to the salon and someone who really knows what's going on fancies you up and you look in the mirror and think "dang! what was I thinking that I could do this to myself! This is so much better!"

I've done my best to give this blog it's home grown mani/pedi and touch up it's roots (lamest analogy ever.) but dialmforminky.com is working it's way through salon de NapWarden. Bless her heart she has worked her magic and very soon we will be unveiling the new look and also making the big leap! The URL will remain the same, but I don't want to lose a one of you! So I hope you'll help me move by coming along for the ride. No heavy lifting required!

That my friends, is what a random recap blog post looks like. Lamesauce, but it had to be done! Back to the funny on the morrow!

Tangled up in blue...Huggies Jeans Diaper blue, that is!

TOTT and I are midgets...errrr...small people. 

Hanging with Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell. Like ya do.

Someone call Alanis because I've got a new one for her song. An actual ironic moment. Not just bad luck, or poor planing. Actual irony. But more on that in a minute.

There is something about NYC that usually makes me want to take a Xanax. Since I'm a bad weaner, Xanax isn't an option right about now. Curse you Xanax and your non-safe-for-nursing-relaxingness!

Let me just tell you, that if you need to hit NYC may I recommend you arrive as the guests of the fantastic Huggies team. When I received the email asking me if we would like to attend the Huggies Jeans Diaper fashion show and inviting Max to be in the fashion show,  I was like...hold on let me check my sched. OH HECK YEAH!! First off, Max already rocks the Huggies. Second, who doesn't want to go to NYC for a fashion show! I though I could live out some sort of 90's Carrie Bradshaw fantasy. Only instead of D&G hot pants it would be jeans diapers. The Huggies team even popped some in the mail to us so we could try them out before we got there.
I think they are adorable! I've seen some rumblings on the internet about them and to those people I say lighten up! They're diapers, they look like jeans, and they are so cute. You know I love a baby in a diaper, and this adds to it. I've always been a wee bit jealous of the adorable cloth diaper covers...why can't disposable diapering moms have some fun too?  TOTT, Max and I took the train from DC armed with an Elmo video and a well stocked diaper bag full of treats. The moment our train arrived in New York my phone rang. How lovely! It was Attitude New York letting us know our car was waiting for us. Let me just tell you, hopping into a driven Escalade complete with car seat is a lovely way to roll into the city. Well done, Huggies.
We were driven to the W Hotel at Union Square, a swanky hotel which at first glance might not seem to baby friendly, but the entire staff simply couldn't have been nicer to Max, the door man and the kiddo had a nice high five or two and we were off to our room.  And what a lovely room it was!

Then it happened.

We settled in and I started to clean the little tyke up before we headed off to dinner and then TOTT and his fellow producing partner were to see American Idiot. I started digging through the diaper bag, and then the suitcase feeling the panic rise as I futily searched.

It went like this:

Me: Dude. We forgot diapers!
TOTT:  Who is this 'we', kimosabe?
Me: Shut it you! We. Have. No. Diapers.(I start to giggle)  At a diaper event.
TOTT: It's like ray-ee-ain on your wedding day! (he starts to laugh)
Max starts to laugh too, just cause we are.
Me:(Laughing)  I can't believe we are here for a diaper event and have no diapers.
TOTT: (laughing) I'll just run out and get some.

Knock.Knock.Knock.

TOTT: (confused face-answers door) Hello?

Adorable Hotel Worker Marian: Miss Dulli? Huggies would like to welcome you to New York.

She then proceeds to hand me a Skip Hop denim (natch) diaper bag. I say thank you and the moment she leaves we begin giggling again. I tear open that bag and whatdayaknow! DIAPERS! Huggies literally saves the (stinky) day! After the kid was changed and we had wiped our tears of laughter and totally rewrote Alanis' song (remind me to send it to her. It's pretty good. And features actual irony) we dug into that cute bag and whoohoo! more goodies!

Along with the diapers and bag were coupons for more free diapers (squee!) a gc to cover eating out etc. and oh yeah...a FLIP video camera.


We headed up and moved on out to meet the friends for dinner. I've no idea where we ended up, exept that it was totally YUM and featured this:

Ultra awesome super sly taken on the go pic of Uncle Jesse in several poses. How oddly awesome.

At that point I wasn't aware that Rebecca Romijn was the Celeb mom. Weird, non? (note to Alanis, NOT ironic though.)

After a quick trip to the St. James theatre, Max and I were off to the hotel to catch some ZZZZ's before his big day! We started out with a lovely breakfast with our fellow bloggers who were total rockstars. I don't mean to be biased, but seriously...some outrageously adorable children amongst the bloggers. They kids quickly got acquainted as did we. Is there anything cuter than a bunch of 18 mo-2 year olds playing together?

We got the kids ready for the fashion show and then two of the tallest, most beautiful people ever walked in the room. Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell. The two of them were very nice and down to earth! Even better they seemed to genuinely like babies and were happy to interact with them. Jerry told Max that he had two little girls at home for him...so it looks like Lauren the waitress has some competition. I know I'll be the mother of the groom, but I've got some great ideas for the Dulli-O'Connell wedding.

Before you knew it we were off to the fashion show! Having done a bunch of these myself as a kid I know how hectic they are and you add babies into the mix and it's a whole lot crazier! There were a couple of mix ups, and we felt a little ummmm, second fiddle there for a second but the Huggies Team was on the case and took care of everything politely and brilliantly!

I was very proud of Max, he's done a ton of photo shoots so he's a pro with that, but this was his very first fashion show and he did very well!

The Huggies team even let me know that he ended up on the life.com website and he even made the Access Hollywood promo for the event. Well done, Max.

I wish the shirt was shorter so you could see the jeans diapers!

We had a wonderful time, and the diapers are great. We used them overnight in NY and they held up beautifully while Max slept for 11 hours! Go Huggies! (and Go Max) They fit him like a dream and I think they are cute. Why not have a little fun while keeping our little ones dry? Everytime I've asked M to bring me a diaper he's chosen the Jeans diaper so I guess he likes em too. Get em while you can cause they are only available during the summer. Thank you to Huggies for hosting us, we had a lovely time and we love the jeans diapers!