Sometimes I forget that Tori Spelling isn't my real life friend.

"Sometimes I forget that Tori Spelling isn't my real life friend." These words were uttered to me by my friend Windizzle as we huffingly pushed our strollers up the big hill from the Panda Bears to the visitors center at the National Zoo. We'd just seen the Spectacle Bear and I had totes blown the kids away with all my knowlege of the little dude. Thanks Diego.

(Skyping with little cousin KK of the Ohio Contingent the other day, she was just prattling on about gymnastics and school and all I kept thinking was Sheesh! K, when are you going to do something worthwhile with your life? Like, quit school and live in a treehouse with your sister, hang with a baby jaguar and start doing some good...like saving the spotted owl or something! Meanwhile K is just droning on about how she reads at a third grade level and she's not even in second grade yet. Whatever. How many baby seals did you save today, K? Slacker.)

(Can you even put a whole paragraph in parenthesis? I. Just. Did.)

I mocked Windizzle when she said she thought Tori was her friend. I mean, hello? News flash: she's not. But the Dizz handed me sTORItelling told me to read it then Mommywood and before you can say "hello Charlie!" Dizz and I are texting during Tori & Dean and I was all like OMG Tori is JUST LIKE ME!!!

I mean, Stella and Mr. Max are the same age and he lurves her. Max has guncles as do her kidlets. I also wear glasses (sometimes, although you'll never see it),we both love to decorate, plan events, and basically be in charge...it's like we are the same.person.

And then there's Twitter, which gives crazy people like me access to her! I tweet her on the reg because Diz was right, and I too sometimes forget that she is not my real life friend, and ya know what...sometimes - sometimes she tweets back. Can you stand the rain, people? That is the very definition of awesomesauce.

She's just so weirdly normal, I mean other than the tons of money and Hollywood legacy she is just one of us working moms, loving her kids like crazy, trying to make it work with her man. I am totally picking up what she's putting down.

Not to worry Tori, I'm far too lazy to be a real stalker. And if we ever met it would just be a 'love your shoes' fest. But if I ever move home, I am so looking you up. We could have a playdate. And by play date I mean a glass of champagne and a giggle or two. Keep on keeping on T. Love your friend, Minky

The next thing you know you're singing 'Surrey With the Fringe On Top' in front of Ira!

Ok, fine. I wasn't singing 'Surrey With the Fringe On Top' in front of Ira. Details schmetails. The next thing you know, however, I was standing in front of a huge blue screen filming a commercial. I never tell what product it's for.

I'm stoopidtitious that way.

Oh how I've missed you, my little bloggy world. From Saturday on it's been a whirlwind. First up we were getting the house ready for new carpet. The American Dream hasn't had new carpet since the folks moved in...like 20 years ago. And the old shizz was blue and pink. I tell you no lie, my friends, blue and pink carpet. Now imagine how much stuff you can accumulate in 20 years and the raising of not one but two children, so there was a hist ton of stuff to move.

Here's something you might not know about me: I'm a bit high maintenance. *STOP LAUGHING!* Alright, fine. You probably guessed that...but with the new carpet we seized the opportunity to move the kiddo from the delux  apartment in the basement to the guest room giving him his very.own.room. *sob*. So we turn the delux apartment in the basement into a playroom/tv room/office and with this move we decide to inhabit TOTT's childhood bedroom complete with baseball trophies and fantabulous 80's wallpaper.

Here's the thing kids, me and wallpaper...well we are the opposite of two great tastes that taste great together. There's only room for one of us in that bedroom, and it's me. So it was with the theme from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly playing in my head, and a Law & Order marathon playing on the tv, that I took to telling that paper to get to stepping.

It was three very frustrating hours later, and one trip to Target for a steamer (Dear God, thank you for the steamer, love me.) that TOTT burst in the room crying "We have VIP Wiggles Tickets! I got em!"

He might have even yelped 'beauuuuuuuty mate!' but I can't be sure because I was too busy trying not to fall off the ladder whilst holding a steamer full of boiling water. And we all know how klutzy I am just standing on solid ground.

I swear to you, TOTT wasn't even that excited when we got Paul McCartney tickets. Oh, small child, what have you turned us into?

People who will join the wiggles fan club in order to get advance VIP tickets apparently. So soon we will be boogying with those crazy kids in the big red car. Do you suppose Jeff knows he is the creepiest Wiggle? Ah well, M is all about Murray anyway. Murray has the guitar so Max only has eyes for Murray.

I cannot believe I just typed that sentence.

As we raced to get everything ready for the big move/ new carpet (which of course, you know, means painting everything in sight, refinishing dressers and new bedding...I must have new bedding!) I got a last minute call for an audition on Monday for a commercial that shot on Tuesday. Suh-weet. I always do good on quick decision calls!

My very first commercial evah was one of these, and I was so lucky to work with the awesomest jokester in the land- Joel McHale who for reals took such good care of me on the set that I thrill every time I see him on tv. He is so deserving of his success.

Also, I saw him at Aroma Cafe once and his kid and my kid had the same stroller. So obviously I can declare us B.F.F.'s in my delusional land.  I wonder if his stroller is as useless and broken as mine is. Harumph.

So the symmetry is not lost on me. My very first commercial ever, and my very first commercial back from having my baby were very similar experiences. Except this time no Joel McHale, just me and blue screen and a teleprompter. I'm like Obama, y'all, I do so love a teleprompter.

Wordless Wednesday~ Back in the saddle!

Audition? Check!