Sometimes I forget that Tori Spelling isn't my real life friend.

"Sometimes I forget that Tori Spelling isn't my real life friend." These words were uttered to me by my friend Windizzle as we huffingly pushed our strollers up the big hill from the Panda Bears to the visitors center at the National Zoo. We'd just seen the Spectacle Bear and I had totes blown the kids away with all my knowlege of the little dude. Thanks Diego.

(Skyping with little cousin KK of the Ohio Contingent the other day, she was just prattling on about gymnastics and school and all I kept thinking was Sheesh! K, when are you going to do something worthwhile with your life? Like, quit school and live in a treehouse with your sister, hang with a baby jaguar and start doing some good...like saving the spotted owl or something! Meanwhile K is just droning on about how she reads at a third grade level and she's not even in second grade yet. Whatever. How many baby seals did you save today, K? Slacker.)

(Can you even put a whole paragraph in parenthesis? I. Just. Did.)

I mocked Windizzle when she said she thought Tori was her friend. I mean, hello? News flash: she's not. But the Dizz handed me sTORItelling told me to read it then Mommywood and before you can say "hello Charlie!" Dizz and I are texting during Tori & Dean and I was all like OMG Tori is JUST LIKE ME!!!

I mean, Stella and Mr. Max are the same age and he lurves her. Max has guncles as do her kidlets. I also wear glasses (sometimes, although you'll never see it),we both love to decorate, plan events, and basically be in charge...it's like we are the same.person.

And then there's Twitter, which gives crazy people like me access to her! I tweet her on the reg because Diz was right, and I too sometimes forget that she is not my real life friend, and ya know what...sometimes - sometimes she tweets back. Can you stand the rain, people? That is the very definition of awesomesauce.

She's just so weirdly normal, I mean other than the tons of money and Hollywood legacy she is just one of us working moms, loving her kids like crazy, trying to make it work with her man. I am totally picking up what she's putting down.

Not to worry Tori, I'm far too lazy to be a real stalker. And if we ever met it would just be a 'love your shoes' fest. But if I ever move home, I am so looking you up. We could have a playdate. And by play date I mean a glass of champagne and a giggle or two. Keep on keeping on T. Love your friend, Minky