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Showing posts with label My Man TOTT. Show all posts
Showing posts with label My Man TOTT. Show all posts

Thursday, May 27, 2010

The curious case of the toddler and the porn-like music.


Last night as I did the stand and sway, nursing my little cherub to sleep- which is getting more difficult by the day, they grow so fast - The Boss reached a up a sweet chubby little hand, placed in on my cheek and said "Baby Mine".

Swoon.

One more round of Baby Mine on the house little one! As his eyes fluttered, fighting sleep, he popped off blinked his big blue eyes at me and said:

Bow chicka bow wow!

Um. Excuse me? I asked, what did you say?

Bow chicka bow woooooooow, Mommy!

I kissed his goose egged forehead and went downstairs hoping and praying that my mother in law and sister in law, who both were cheerleaders had taught him the Booma Chicka Boom cheer.  Nope. Neither one had, although they vowed to do so.

Next up I cornered the men in the fam...the likeliest suspects, non? Who on earth, said I, has been exposing my child to porn, or at the very least terrible cheesy porn-like music?!

Shakespeare really should have written "Hell hath no fury like a mother who thinks someone has shown her baby something innapropriate". Although, that doesn't have quite as good a ring to it.

The boys faces quickly paled and both denied any such thing, of course. They never would do such a thing. (for real, they NEVER would do something. This child is so very loved and protected, I always say to him that I wish all babies in the world were as loved as he is) I may have been a little, how you say, irrational? And craving chocolate like a crack whore craves crack. You get the point. The menfolk both wracked their brains to figure out where The Boss could have learned such a musical phrase!

Aha! Cried TOTT. The Motown documentary they watched several days ago! The Boss had loved the section where they laid down the tracks one by one and the bassist vocalized his line along with playing.
Boom. Chicka. Bow. Wow.
They had replayed it several times for him. Cause he's The Boss.
Phew.

My child, not exposed to porn at all, just a run of the mill musical genius.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Wordless Wednesday~ Apple. Tree. Not far.

                                                        Apple.               Tree.



TOTT makes this face when he looks in the mirror. It's kinda Blue Steel-like. The whole of the American Dream teases him about this. The other night TOTT had given M a bath and had combed their hair so it matched. M looked in the mirror, made the face and said:

"I LOVE MAX"

Clear as a bell. I am in so much trouble 

Monday, April 19, 2010

The best laid plans...

Saturday night started off with a lovely offer from my father in law. They'd watch the baby on Sunday and The Teller of Tall Tales and I would be off to DC for a little work, and then some lunch and a bit of a shop!
How lovely. I woke early and dressed, I even curled my hair, put on a new outfit and my favorite cockroach stomping boots! But alas the best laid plans were not to be.

Here at the American Dream I've been sleeping down stairs in the crazy awesome apartment and since TTOTT (The Teller of Tall Tales) (Do we like TTOTT? I'm trying it out...) has to get up early for work, and let's face it he may be sweet and funny but he is not the quietest man in the land, he's been crashing upstairs in his childhood bedroom.

It's so ideal.

Plus the little league baseball trophies are way sexy.

By the time I got upstairs the poor dude was folded over in extreme pain. And just like that we were off to the E.R. Let me just say, if you need a trip to urgent care may I suggest that you schedule it for 7 a.m. on a Sunday. We were seen in a flash! I'm still pondering why hospitals must be kept at such a frigid temperature. I think my toes are still frozen, it was Cullen cold in there. Poor TTOTT (Yay? Nay? I dunno..) has kidney stones before so it was no shock what it was, but I do have to say that I haven't really seen him in this much pain before. It sucked hardcore.


Luckily our lovely nurse quickly administered the phine. Ah, yes. Morphine. If you all ever have the opportunity to visit TTOTT whilst he is all warm and fuzzy from the phine, I highly- HIGHLY- suggest it. (although let's hope today was the final time he has it)

You'll experience a little thing we call THE ZACH SHOW.

He gets all silly, smiley, and just 'on' there is no other word for it. He is 'ON'.

Zach has earned his monikers earnestly but he truly is not a braggart. He'll mention my accomplishments far quicker than his own.

It's just a good thing I wasn't imbibing any beverages as the nurse gave him a dose of the phine, he got a big smile on his quickly flushing face turned to her and said

"You might have seen me on television!"

It was shortly after that our nurse betrayed all woman kind by saying a man having kidney stones was worse that a woman giving birth.

BETRAYER!!

But TTOTT was soooooooooooooooooooooper stoned at that point so he just giggled and then when the nurse left he told me that babies trump kidney stones. I say well done young man, and have another hit!
 He's gonna be fine, we are home now. We stopped for bagels and donuts on the way home and I have a new lover- a honey dipped donut. I proclaim my undying love for thee!

The man is resting now, no more morphine but he's got a nice prescription of Vicodin to see him through the next few days. Here's hoping he is on the road to 'delivering' soon.
I won't be getting a nursery ready though. Ew.