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Monday, April 19, 2010

The best laid plans...

Saturday night started off with a lovely offer from my father in law. They'd watch the baby on Sunday and The Teller of Tall Tales and I would be off to DC for a little work, and then some lunch and a bit of a shop!
How lovely. I woke early and dressed, I even curled my hair, put on a new outfit and my favorite cockroach stomping boots! But alas the best laid plans were not to be.

Here at the American Dream I've been sleeping down stairs in the crazy awesome apartment and since TTOTT (The Teller of Tall Tales) (Do we like TTOTT? I'm trying it out...) has to get up early for work, and let's face it he may be sweet and funny but he is not the quietest man in the land, he's been crashing upstairs in his childhood bedroom.

It's so ideal.

Plus the little league baseball trophies are way sexy.

By the time I got upstairs the poor dude was folded over in extreme pain. And just like that we were off to the E.R. Let me just say, if you need a trip to urgent care may I suggest that you schedule it for 7 a.m. on a Sunday. We were seen in a flash! I'm still pondering why hospitals must be kept at such a frigid temperature. I think my toes are still frozen, it was Cullen cold in there. Poor TTOTT (Yay? Nay? I dunno..) has kidney stones before so it was no shock what it was, but I do have to say that I haven't really seen him in this much pain before. It sucked hardcore.

Luckily our lovely nurse quickly administered the phine. Ah, yes. Morphine. If you all ever have the opportunity to visit TTOTT whilst he is all warm and fuzzy from the phine, I highly- HIGHLY- suggest it. (although let's hope today was the final time he has it)

You'll experience a little thing we call THE ZACH SHOW.

He gets all silly, smiley, and just 'on' there is no other word for it. He is 'ON'.

Zach has earned his monikers earnestly but he truly is not a braggart. He'll mention my accomplishments far quicker than his own.

It's just a good thing I wasn't imbibing any beverages as the nurse gave him a dose of the phine, he got a big smile on his quickly flushing face turned to her and said

"You might have seen me on television!"

It was shortly after that our nurse betrayed all woman kind by saying a man having kidney stones was worse that a woman giving birth.


But TTOTT was soooooooooooooooooooooper stoned at that point so he just giggled and then when the nurse left he told me that babies trump kidney stones. I say well done young man, and have another hit!
 He's gonna be fine, we are home now. We stopped for bagels and donuts on the way home and I have a new lover- a honey dipped donut. I proclaim my undying love for thee!

The man is resting now, no more morphine but he's got a nice prescription of Vicodin to see him through the next few days. Here's hoping he is on the road to 'delivering' soon.
I won't be getting a nursery ready though. Ew.


Sarah said...

Poor Zach! I hope he recovers quickly. Tim and I had virtually the same experience just about a week ago. Complete with the nurse's overexaggeration comparing kidney stones to childbirth...PUH-LEASE! Maybe it's just to make them feel better? Must be.

Bethany said...

The biggest, toughest, most manly men I know have been brought to their knees by kidney stones: even Sgt. Majors in the Army! I always love questioning loved after dental work - probably my equivalent of your "Zach Show"!

Salt said...

Oh no! Poor TTOTT – I'm diggin' it...it kind of makes me hungry for tater tots. In similar fashion, our date day Saturday was also cancelled when M came down with this bizarre tonsil infection that had him with a 102 degree fever all weekend. He has antibiotics now and will be fine too, but it sounds like a bad weekend for husbands.

At least TTOTT got some morphine!

Allyson & Jere said...

Oh man, NOT the way one wants to spend their Sunday, or any day for that matter. Sorry he had to suffer. On the upside, you got to watch the Zach show, which sounds fun, AND find a new lover. See, their are pluses to the pain. Hope he's all better soon.

Amo said...

That nurse must not have ever given birth or she wouldn't have said that! I don't care what a man goes through...it isn't as bad as carrying extra weight for 9 months, while constipated and uncomfortable, only to have to be in extreme pain for God knows how long during childbirth. And then if you are really lucky, you get a c-section where all your organs are placed next to you on a cold tray and you get to be AWAKE for the whole thing!

All that being said, kidney stones are really painful and I feel very sorry for him! I'm so glad he is getting better! Maybe you guys can reschedule your date!

Mom2Miles said...

Oh, no! It may have been a nightmare but your retelling of it sure is damn funny. :) Ooh, that nurse IS a betrayer of womankind. My hubs had the nerve to suggest that getting his wisdom teeth out was as bad as labor. Um, NO.

Shari@Tales from the Sippy Cup said...

Yeah....I had kidney stones WHILE pregnant. And you don't get morphine or anything worth a snot while you are baking a baby with kidney stones. So I totally feel for him! In my opinion however... think the kidney stones were worse than the delivery.

The Grasshoppa:Triplets Plus Two Momma said...

I had 12 doses of Morhpine post-triplets and it did NOTHING.

That is the worse betrayal. Please send me her name.

Glad your liar liar is all better :)