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Showing posts with label True Story. Texts from Dub. Show all posts
Showing posts with label True Story. Texts from Dub. Show all posts

Thursday, April 29, 2010

I laughed till I peed.

Mr. M just pointed to this and said "mommy's juice!" Indeed.

In the immortal words of Clairee Belcher my dream last night was "too twisted for color t.v."

I mean, Borat and I took our jobs on that jury very seriously and we did a good job, but our subsequent Running Man (not a euphemism) left a lot to be desired. Still, "It's Getting Kind of Hectic" is a song that has stood the test of time, at least in my dreams, it's a jamming tune. Disappointingly, neither Borat nor myself made the Barnes and Noble Songleader squad.

Maybe next time.

My Southern Grandmother used to say that we suffer from a delicate constitution. She ran completely on Valium and narcissism so I'm a believer. Her thesis was supported by the very large fact that in her living room there was a separate fridge for the meds. The Valium had it's own fridge, people. True story. No wonder I suffer from a case of 'the nerves' (btw, you have to say 'the nerves' with a Southern dialect). I come by the crazy honestly, at least! 

Maybe I should get a fridge for the Zoloft. And the Puppy Bear's Prozac. Maybe the little light will help me read the label so as not to take the D-O-G's medicine again.  I don't need a big huge fridge like the Grandmother had...just a teeny mini fridge. Does Anthropologie make one? Cause I want it pretty. I should invent that. There's money in that, y'all.

It's such a bummer I can't have the gooooooooooooooood drugs with this dang cyst. Due to the fact that I am a bad weaner, I am relegated to Tylenol only. Although with dreams like these on the 'nol, I would fear to see what I'd come up with on the Vic. 

And now, (for a non-sequitor) I'd like to introduce a new feature here at the Minkster - Texts from Dub. The first month we moved away Dub and I texted 1, 478 times. This was both tremendously unfortunate as I did not have an unlimited texting plan then; and also totally impressive because at the time I had a baby pink Katana. Ah, the Katana...it wanted to be a Razor when it grew up. How did I ever live without a smart phone? Anyhoo, Dub is the funny. She makes me laugh till I pee. Those of you who have had a baby know what I'm speaking of. 

And so, I leave you with this...why I love Dub.






Only a sister would share that with you. And then let you share it with the world.