I wonder how long it will be before I stop sneaking in at night.

I can't help myself. It's an addiction. There are so many nights I am so tired and think "I can't wait for him to go to sleep" and sure enough 20 minutes after he's asleep in his crib and I've had a breath I just miss him. I sneak in and lean over him and take one more breath of that sweet, clean baby smell. I smooth his soft duckie fuzz hair and rest my hand on his back to check his breath even though I see his ribs rising and falling and I hear the sweet little sleep nursing noises.

I do this...oh, 3 times a night. He's almost a year old and I still can't believe he is here. He's real and every morning when he wakes up my first thought is not "ugh, more sleep "it's "thank you God, he's still here." And then it's "ugh, more sleep!"

We had a lovely family vacation in Myrtle Beach, I'd never been there and I cannot wait to go back! What a fun mix of resort luxury and kitschy fun!

At South of the Border.

This is why we have kids right? To put silly things on them and take pictures?

Showstoppers was a blast and little cousin KK got a gold medal! Man, I would have loved to participate in something like that when I was little. Max, who already goes into a trance anytime dancing is happening was enthralled. We hit the beach and he loved digging in the sand, but wasn't a big fan of the waves.

But the resort had this pool. A warm saltwater pool and Max just flipped out over it! He was trying to swim and his whole face just lit up like he thought it was a big bah and we all go to play together. Honestly I wish we had skipped the beach entirely and spent all our days in the pool. A decision that I think was only slightly reiterated by the fact that I was stung by a jelly fish on my face right under my eye. Yeah. That sucked. Other than that it was a pitch perfect trip! Good food, great company, good shopping and a happy baby discovering new things and growing and exploring. It's truly miraculous.

I've been on stage and had the applause of thousands of people and his one little clap when he succeeds at something and gives himself a 'good job' clap is a billion times better. Amazing.