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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I hereby rename the Toddler stage "Disaster Machine"

Springsteen exit stage left. There's a new boss taking over!

The other day as I was blissfully watching a little Law & Order on the stationary bike at the gym when one of the male trainers came out of the day care and said to me "man, your kid is a trip!"

I feel that Max is SO safe at the gym daycare, from the moment we walk in every one who works there says hello to Max, knows his name. The trainers take the time to go in and play ball with him while he is there. No one could get through them to get to my kid. In fact TOTT went in not to long ago in the evening and the girl behind the counter squinted at him and asked "are you Max's dad?"

Our new roles are as parents to the real star of the show...The Boss.

The Boss, you say? We've never heard that one before! Sweet Baby Max, or King Max yes but The Boss? No. Well, get used to it.

The trainer proceeded to tell me what a kick they get out of him and how he does this thing now where if he wants to do something or wants you to get something for him he will forcibly take your hand and put it on what he wants or lead you over to wherever he wants to go and command you with a "THIS!" and follow it with a blink of his cartoon baby eyes and a sweet voiced "peas?" And so the they had taken to calling my sweet baby The Boss.

He is indeed The Boss. I mean really, I am the boss. I may have made him eggless cookie dough as a treat today but then I put my foot down and wouldn't give in to the cupcake. See? I'm in charge! of course then I spent an hour on youtube playing Beatles videos, so maybe he really is in charge.

Oh well, when your kid is under the weather you do things like make 'em cookie dough and play Beatles vidoes, right? RIGHT?

We spent Sunday in the E.R. It was decidedly not awesome. The Boss was climbing and slid, smashing his face on the edge of the entertainment center. Ma (Grandma) was watching him at the time and she was inconsolable, but it could have happened on any of our watches.

Because toddlers are disaster machines.

The gum above his right front tooth was split to the bone- good lord! seeing your childs bone should never happen- and he tore the connector from his lip to his gum. As you can imagine blood was gushing at nearly rate of the oil spill. It was terrifying. Afterfour hours in the emergency room we left with a 'it'll heal itself' and a prescription for anitbiotics. He vascilates between playing fine and being miserable. Poor baby!

Just an FYI, if your kid is miserable I do indeed suggest eggless cookie dough. Bonus for you, it's yummy so you can drown your 'my baby is sick' sorrows in it too! The Boss loved it so much he did his version of Snoopy's happy dance while singing 'Happy Day!" It slays me with cute.

Anyway, he's been extra cuddly and snuggly and I've been drinking in that sweet baby skin. He is intoxicating, even if his feet now smell like feet and not marshmallows. When did that happen? It's going too fast. But I am still drunk with love for my little klutzy boy. Maybe he did actually inherit something from me after all.

Sorry about that, little dude.

In fact right now I'm trying to decide whether the lovely new goose egg smack in the middle of his forehead makes him look more like a Cyclops or as if he is sprouting a unicorn horn. I think unicorn horn. I also think it's time for more Tylenol (generic, natch)

I leave you with this, in NY we hit up a music class at with DadaRocks and his adorable son Marc. Marc and The Boss made quick friends and had a glorious time together. Plus, the teacher could for real and for true play the guitar. The Boss' mind was blown. He just stood there for a few, taking it all in before he finally let loose and boogied till he couldn't boogie no mo!

The good stuff starts about 30 seconds in, it also features Marc. This kid is so cute I could eat him up. Luckily I have my own kiddo to snack on because we had just met DadaRocks and his wife...I'm not sure if munching on their child would have made the proper first impression.

The Boss spins it right round, baby, right round.

Really, is there anything cuter than babies rocking it out??? Sigh. It makes my heart happy.


Mommy's Sippy Cup said...

That video seriously had me cracking up! That is tooooo stinkin cute!

Salt said...

And he dances better than I do also. What else could you expect from a unicorn baby?

You DO know how much I love unicorns right?

I'm glad he didn't have to get stitches!!

Salt said...

PS. Shortly after I wrote my first comment, I got to the dizzy part. OMG. That was the best thing I have ever seen!!!

Allyson & Jere said...

Super scarey about the fall and time in the ER. I think I have been the LUCKIEST ever that my Max hasn't spent copiuos amounts of time in the ER, considering how much he falls. Glad your little man of adorable is ok.

The video....oh the video. That was to freakin cute, especially the dizzy face.

Melissa said...

I love how Max was blinking to stop the dizziness. What a cutie!

I'm sorry that you had to make a trip to the ER! And wow, seeing the bone? Ack, poor mom and dad! And the blood that any kind of mouth wound produces is insane. He'll be right as rain soon enough, mouth wounds seem to heal amazingly well and fast.

And I wanted to thank you for sharing all of the stories and your adventures with Max. With my little guy only being a few months behind him, I get a preview into what having a toddler, specifically a boy toddler, is all about.

DaDa Rocks! said...

We were almost to cruel to be laughing so hard at Max but by far that was the funniest thing all day!

Clearly the boys could be cousins they almost look so similar (and that rare for their age too)

Next time you come we'll take you to a combo class (music then art) I warn you your fridge will have it's first real max made artwork :P

ps. more then welcome to come snack on marc (just dont wonder why we're calling from the airport :P)