Boys will be boys...

We vowed early on to let Max take the lead as to which toys he was interested in and what he liked. Zach is a BIG sports fan and was still playing team Baseball when I met him. My grandfather also played ball for most of his life. We are a big baseball family. But what would Max like?
Well make no mistake about it, this little boy so far is following in his daddy's footsteps.
It's all about sports. Baseball, basketball, soccer. He wants to play!

The other day I made an unsatisfying trip to Michaels. I have this brilliant dream of making Max a stocking for Christmas, one of those grand needlepoint ones. Never mind that I don't know how to needlepoint I want to make my kid a stocking! There was nary a good stocking at Michaels. Max wiggled in my arms wanting to get down and explore and since we were surrounded by Christmas decorations I let him. Did he stop to look at the sparkly trees? Ornaments? How about the figurines? Nope he took off at a run for the end cap at the back of the store. The end cap that had stick on decals for the back windows of cars. He raced to it happily screaching 'Baaaaaaaaa" and grabbed about 20 basketball decals.

I predict I will be throwing many pizza parties for his teams in the future, and taking the boys to Jimmy Cone

I guess I better start liking sports more.

Baby Max would like to thank the Academy...

And the Winner of Most Dramatic Diaper Change is.... BABY MAX!!!!

(Voice over : This Baby Max's third nomination today and his first win. He is also nominated in Most Dramatic Car Seat and Most Dramatic Breakfast)

Baby Max:
 I'm so honored to toddle here before you to accept the honor of Most Dramatic Diaper Change. The other nominees are so talented and formidable in their performances to escape before a new diaper is placed on them. Special acknowledgement to Trevor for his use of the Alligator roll out of a poopy diaper. Well done, man!

I was saddened to loose Most Dramatic Going Down for a Nap to my dear friend Reese, but looking forward to the next category I am nominated in, Most Dramatic Being Placed in a Car Seat, I really think the arched back and the Exorcist-esque head rolls might clinch the win for me!

I'd like to recognize my buddy Nik who took home the award for Most Dramatic Pucker Face Upon Tasting Cranberry Juice. ( instrumental music swells- Lady Gaga's Poker Face) I need to give a shout out  for his performance in "I don't want to get out of the bath" with his costars his Drenched Mommy, Daaddy and Wet Dog. It's great when an artist is supported by the whole family.

I am truly humbled to be surrounded by such toddlers, toddlers who are wholly and fully commited to the Food Throw and the Toilet Splash. Your willingness to just 'go there' is astonishing.
I share this award with every one of you...*Exit music plays*
I DON'T WANNA GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
*arches back, kicks, screams- is picked up by mommy and carried off*

Mad Max

In case you've ever wondered

In case you've ever wondered what we do at the American Dream on your average Tuesday night in the kitchen.

TV Nation

More fun than TV. Max and Prozac Puppy help with the laundry.

Before I had the baby my days were filled with brunches, shopping, auditions and rehearsals. I won't lie...it was a kick ass life. I adored it! I had some days where there was nothing going on and I lounged all day, maybe got a mani/pedi and then crashed on the couch for some Law & Order and take out.
I had the luxury of getting extremely upset about gossip, whether about my friends or me. I had the time and the inclination to be interested and yes, sometimes judgmental about the comings and goings at my theatre company and was tremendously vulnerable to others judgments and gossip about me. (Now of course I simply cannot believe I got so upset over all that stuff!) I had a great circle of friends who I at least talked to on the phone 3 times a week if not every day!

Now I spend every day with the cutest little man I've ever met, but as a stay at home mom I find myself thinking things like:

"Sam Wiggle got a haircut! He's looking good, I wonder if he's been working out!"
or
 "Seriously, someone needs to tell Anthony to step away from the plastic surgeon!"
or
"I totally know all the choreography to the Wiggles and the Fresh Beats. Is that awesome or sad?"

I decided it's awesome because:
a. when I dance along it makes my kid crazy happy
b. I'm counting it as working out. It's aerobics, right????

Also? I totally haven't discouraged Max when he points at Sportacus (Yes. He loves that damned Lazy Town) and says emphatically "Da da!" Who's your Daddy? Sportacus, indeed.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm a bad mom where television is concerned. Both Zach and I are the type of people who have the tv on all the time, it's white noise to us. I was a latch key kid for a long time and the tv was company to me. I kept it on while playing, while reading, doing homework (probably should have turned it off then). So when we had Max it didn't occur to either of us to turn it off.
We learned very early on that Max is a visual learner, it's extremely clear that as of now that is his learning style, so we began early on having kid friendly things on television as our background noise. And when we do have on adult programming (And by adult, I mean The Office, Modern Family or GLEE, not *cough* adult programming *cough* ) he really isn't all that interested unless there is music.
Max is a kid who can and does play on his own, as I was, and sometimes I want to play with him and he's like 'get outta my face woman, can't you see I'm reading this book and giggling to myself?!?! You don't interrupt that.'
But the TV is always droning on. As we play with blocks, or as I put away the laundry...Sesame is in the background. So far this hasn't seemed to hinder his development in any way. He does not throw tantrums when we turn it off for nap time, or want it on if it does happen to be off. He is meeting all the learning milestones and has caught up physically but I still can't help but think I need to turn off the dang tv! So I'm going to.
It's like breaking up with a lover, turning off my beloved television. We'll still be friends but we won't see each other all the time.
Max is naturally curious and interested in just about everything and I want to encourage that. He knows blue and red (Cookie and Elmo anyone?), he knows up and down, he is learning things at a rate that is blowing my mind. I think, more for me than for him, the white noise of the tv needs to go away.
Dear television, it's not you...it's me.

The Panic

This last week was a doozy wasn't it? I mean little Falcon flying through the air (oh wait, he wasn't) and a baby taken from his mother by the TSA (oh wait he wasn't) and that baby in stroller run over by the train (oh how I wish that wasn't, thank God he's ok).
More than angry about the embellishers I am just thrilled that the children are safe. But this week gave me a panic attack. The third one of my entire life and I am so hoping that will be last cause in case you haven't heard, panic attacks? suck. hard.
My first one took place on a plane, I'm not a great flier and once the door shut with a particularly odd thunk I felt my heart race, my temperature raise and suddenly the panic was like a blanket on me. A boa constrictor blanket. I am not sure how I had the presence of mind to not freak out, but I guess I figured ranting like a maniac on a plane might not be the best course of action. Bloody Mary's were. Thank you Virgin America.
The second one took place on the table during my C-section. Awesome. I kept saying to my wonderful Doogie Howser-esque anesthesiologist  "I have to get up. I'm freaking out." yeah, cause getting up at that moment was going to happen. He was a rock star telling me there was nothing to freak out about, and if I wanted something he would give it to me but I might not remember the birth. I chose to just stay there and freak out. Finally once that kid was wedged free they brought him to me, still panicking, thinking it would calm me down...it didn't,  but we did learn that I am big fat camera whore because this picture:

was taken smack in the middle of  "let me up, I have to get up, I'm freaking out"( anyone surprised I'm a camera whore? I thought not)

This Sunday night I was taken by surprise by the panic, it came from nowhere. Nothing had happened directly to me or my family. Yeah I had sat by the television praying and crying for a little boy up in a balloon. The world is scary in a completely different way now that Max is here. I kept thinking how scared that child must be, hoping against hope that he was alive. I could feel viscerally how scared his mother must be, how angry she must be at his father...well placed or not I would have been furious.

I was not alone. Twitter was a buzz with ' I want to get my kid from school and hug him'.

I'm not sure how they resisted, Max was right in front of me and I couldn't hold him close enough. The thought of him in such a situation? Too much to bear.

Hot on the heels of that, a mother claimed her son was taken from her at the airport.  Having just travelled by myself with Max I experienced everything right along with her reading her story. I just can't help but feel what other people are feeling.

I'm like Steel Magnolias, baby: "No one cries alone in my presence"

Since Max was born I've had a bit of what is called Postpartum Anxiety. Sometimes at night I see him being hurt in random ways. Run over by a car, a dresser falling on him. When he was tiny we lived in Santa Clarita on the 3rd floor and the stairs were a constant source of terror for me. I would see myself dropping him and his tiny head popping like a cantelope on those stairs. The stroller getting away from me is a big one. I've seen it a thousand times. We live near a lake and we take lovely walks around it, but at a night the stroller makes a break from me and sweet Baby Max is plunged in to the murky depths along with a million abandoned shoes, bikes, frisbees and balls.

As I might have mentioned I want a new stroller since the brake is broken on my( utterly useless, infuriatingly expensive) stroller

So seeing it happen, to that poor woman for real and for true just put me right over the edge. I closed my eyes to try to sleep and there it was, over and over. For real.  The mother's reaction, how the people scattered and then raced to the train..and suddenly, there was that boa constrictor of panic. Again, this is only the 3rd time in my whole life this has ever happened, enough to recognize what it is, but still be scared by it.

Having a child opens the world up to a whole new range of terror, but my God isn't it worth it? So, I'll keep the panic attacks if it means I get to keep the baby. (And if it means I get to keep the Xanax!)

Also, I am dying to know what kind of bad ass stroller that baby was in...cause I want that one!

Hippity Hop

Just a quick update, today was Max's X-ray and seriously he couldn't have done better if we bribed him with Elmo. ONly one parent could go back with him so Zach went and I sat in the waiting room...watching Big Cat Diary which was fantabulous until the screaming started. And then on Big Cat the story line was about a momma lion trying to get to her cubs after she had fallen down a river embankment and was stuck. Great. Every now and then I would hear Max scream and I would freak...how many X-rays are they doing? Turns out just one. It was over right away. And that screaming I heard? Was from the waiting room in the back, Max was very vocal in his displeasure when Zach wouldn't let him play with things back there. Whew.
The Radiologist took the time to go over the X-ray with us and the upshot it...perfection. HIs hips are perfection, popping is normal and his absurd flexibility is probably half genetic as Zach and I are both flexible and half from his gestation.
Whatever...he's good to go and I could not be more thrilled!!!
Shady Grove Radiology, you rocked my socks today. Thanks!

The waiting game...

Zach's interview went beautifully and he is so hopeful for things to come! So am I. It's hard not to start imagining where we will live and imagine buying things for the new place, envisioning Zach's new job.

Is this getting my hopes up? Counting my (free-range, vegetarian-fed, cruelty free) chickens before they hatch?

Or is it visualizing?

I'm going with visualizing, since I can't help myself. I envision everything they told him at the interview happening, I imagine him working happily at a job he loves. For me I imagine brunches with friends, taking Max to the Grove and to Disneyland. Introducing him to friends who he didn't get to meet since we moved to fast. I picture myself heading back to auditions, and filming short films with my friends like I did before. I imagine booking jobs and taking a class. I envision a lot of happiness and yes, stress moving back to Los Angeles. But I think Zach and I have licked our wounds long enough over what happened in the Ohio Debacle and we are really ready to be brave and start forward!

I know I've got a great guy who has worked tirelessly at a 'paycheck' job in order to keep us going. He deserves some good things to come his way. Here's hoping one of the good things coming his way is a job! He fell in love with the place and they seemed to really like him! He came home to an email from them with some really encouraging words in it...they want to find him something, here's hoping they do!

If you've got a moment, please say a hello to one of those friends we moved to fast for Max to meet! This is Shaun's new blog. He's awesome. He's funny, and his kid? Absurdly cute. For reals.

SPODADDY Help him get started in blogland, and check out his videos cause again...the cute is almost painful.

So remember when?

Remember when I said something good was coming? Well...what? 48 hours and one phone call later we hastily purchased a ticket to ride for this morning so that Zach could fly off to Los Angeles for a job interview. And not just a job, a like foot in the door, career making job! Whatever happens, please think good thoughts for him tomorrow as his interview is in the morning.

So he's home in LA and going to see Dub, Mahmood and Zuzu tonight and I am so jealous!

But here is the thing, if (when...WHEN) he gets a great job in LA and we head back it will be bittersweet. It's no longer a case of oh-my-God-when-can-we-go-home and is now but-wait!-I-was-really-starting-to-like-it-here.

I do. I love D.C. I love the weather, the people, the atmosphere. I always wanted a big family and never really had one, it was just me and my mom and she tried desperately to be everything I needed. She was and is a rockstar, but I always wished for aunts and uncles and grandparents nearby and I love that Max has this at his fingertips. Wherever he goes in this house there is someone ecstatic to see him, cuddle him, dance with him and love him.

i'll miss that.

I'll miss the rain and how green it is. I can picture us living here, getting a cute townhouse in Georgetown, raising Max and hopeful #2. Having a real life here.

What is that about? I'll still pack my bags and head home with a happy heart! But how odd, to realize that even while I was resisting living anywhere else than LA, DC has crept in and made a little home in my heart.

I've given up trying to control anything anymore, I'm just turning it all over. Whatever will be will be, wherever we live we will make a home. I am just thrilled that Zach got this interview and whatever the outcome is; it's nothing but good.

Kicked when you're down...(or not.)

This weekend Kelly fulfilled her Glambassador Duties at the Glamour Magazine event. What fun! Seriously? Women will take you OUT for a free tote bag with some Calvin Klein slippers and Lancome lipstick in it. Baby Max had to play defense and protect his (I want a new one) stroller! He was run over no less than three times in the mad rush to secure a goody bag. Ladies, calm down! There's enough for everyone.

Kelly and I at the event. I do love Glamour.

MIL even watched the baby so Zach and I could go grab a little nosh at a Mexican restaurant in the mall. Fresh table side guac, need I say more? I also may have been powerless against the little jeans and thermals at Old Navy. Why are kids clothes so cute?

Lately I've been feeling a bit like the song Somethings Coming from West Side Story (one of my favs!). I'm not sure why. No, our circumstances have not changed. We're still living the American Dream, Zach is still working hard at a survival job and I thankfully am still getting residuals. But it's like something has turned...the air is different. Not just that it's fall and I'm all excited about sweaters and boots and my new bangs (I.am.so.shallow.) It's just like something good is coming, I can feel it!

Today we found out that my fabulous aforementioned respectable Honda Accord with all the bells and whistles that I lurve needs repairs that will cost more than we owe on it. Gah. Buying a car right now? Not really in our plans. We will see where we go from here, our credit is fine but really? We'd like to get back to LA, we'd like to get our own place. We've stayed here longer than we planned in order to really pay down some debt and to get back on track. The Ohio Debacle was quite costly, but we're ok ya know? A huge car repair puts a big crimp in the works. We are outgrowing my little sedan by leaps and bounds and car seats and strollers and really how much money do you put into a car to just trade it in six months from now?

Something to ponder...

In the meantime I just feel like something good is coming. It's my little mantra right now, but not in a convincing myself way. More like in an acknowledgement. I've been well taken care of by God or the Universe (whichever you prefer) and though this has been a rough spot, but now I truly feel lighter. And happily expectant! (no I'm not pregnant.)

I'm waiting patiently but excitedly. It's Christmas eve over here. Not even possible car trouble can bring me down tonight.

Something good is coming!

Purse, cars...STROLLERS!

Back in the day I was a purse fiend. Alright, I won't lie I am still a purse fiend. The sight of the new Vuitton can just make my stomach feel all wiggly. And that blue Kooba? I would DIE to have it. But, ah...how the times have changed. If someone dropped a grand in my hands to shop I have to admit, I wouldn't buy a bag. I'd get a new stroller.

WHO AM I????

When Dub and I were pregnant we realized there was a whole other LA world hierarchy. The pecking order of the stroller. Up until then we had been unaware, knowing that your car (Both had respectable H0nda Accords with all the bells and whistles, but oh! how I dream of a CX-9now. So practical, I used to dream of a slick lil BMW convertible) or your purse and sunglasses were an immediate outward sign of your status in LA.

But in the Mommy word? It's all about the stroller! Both of us dreamed of the Bugaboo, which at the time was the ultimate. We dreamed of it, discussed which color we would get...oh, the Bugaboo. Swoon. It was out of the price range for both of us obviously (and knowing what I know now I wouldn't spend the money on it even if I had it!) and so the researching began on what to get...we both settled on the Maxi Cosi Foray. Sort of a Bugaboo knock off. Loved it. And it was only $400! Done and done! Except...shortly before the one year warranty was up, the brake on mine broke. Yeah. I've been trying since JUNE to get a hold of someone to even instruct me where to go to pay to have it fixed, much less attempt to have it fixed from the warranty.

In the mean time, since it's been broken rendering it useless for places like the Zoo which is all hill and you desperately need a brake for it, I've been using the little Graco umbrella stroller we purchased to take on vacation with us and I've become totally aware of what I REALLY need in a stroller. Things which neither the Foray or the umbrella have!

I need a cup holder for mommy. A real live one that can handle a friggin Starbucks. I also need a snack tray for Baby Max with a cup holder. He is at the point where he wants a snack in the stroller. Neither stroller we have now has a place to put a snack or even rest a sippy cup (I am

under no delusion that even with a snack tray the sippy cup won't be tossed on the floor, I'll still be retrieving it I'm sure) I need a big fat storage basket underneath, I need a nice big sun shade to cover the baby, I need the seat to recline flat so the bambino can nap whilst I shop!

And...I need it to look cool. Cause when it comes down to it, I'm still appearance conscious.

I'm looking at these:

The City Jogger Mini. (It does have a snack tray) or The Graco Quatro Tour Sport. I must admit, I like the look of it, it comes in several colors...a little unsure of the footrest for the bambino. What do you have? What do you love about it?

The Roller Coaster.

Good heavens people. What a week. Or week and a half really. Stinker has been sick, sick, sick and it's been a comedy of errors trying to get the tangled web of what's going on figured out. In the end it's nothing serious, all simple innocent childhood issues but in a perfect storm of 'well it could be..' symptoms. So, the final word is: two ear infections, Roseola, and a severe Amoxicillan reaction and a cold. YAY!

Ear infections are cleared now, high fever gone, Roseola cleared, and now the last of the Amox rash is clearing. His palms and the bottoms of his feet are finally clearing thanks to Dr. Courtney and her doses of baby Zyrtec. Today we actually went out and about and not one person pointed and said "that kid is sick!" which did in fact happen when I took him to the grocery store. It looked like he had a raging case of the measles and a very snotty nose (which is still around...mucus is my kryptonite so...gag) so I can't blame them but it stinks to have your little one pointed at in such a manner. Personality wise he is almost back to normal. He's started smiling and giggling again, giving lots and lots of kisses. He now knows where his ears are that's for sure! Bless his little heart. I'm so glad to see him on the mend.

My birthday came and went in the midst of this and it was lovely, I got well and truly spoiled by the inlaws with the second holy trinity: Sephora, Nordstroms, Tiffany. And Zach spoiled me with sweaters and roses and an upcoming trip to the Shaw and Stratford Festivals. Lovely!

****

She got naked at my wedding...

I'm proud to call the infamous Naked Jen my friend, no, not on line...in real life. I've stayed at her home. She attended my wedding. Although we did meet on line, and it's a good thing we did because we very well might not have been friends if we'd met in person first. And that would have been entirely my fault, and my loss. You see, despite the daddy issues which led to some poor choices, and a role or two in some B movies where I may or may not have had a scene where I was kidnapped and chained to a bed in my undies, at heart I really am kind of a prude. It's true. I can talk a big game and make some wild jokes but at the end of the day I am a big ol lily livered prude.

I'm definitely NOT a naked person. I'm the type of gal who wraps in a towel before she steps out of the shower. Plus, I grew up in Boulder surrounded by Grateful Dead loving, long skirted hippies and I couldn't wait to get out of there to a land of shaven armpits and Jackie O sunglasses. (BTW Naked has exceptional hygiene. I feel like I need to state that for the record.) Naked Jen actually did traipse about the world following the Dead, she had pink hair! I'm pretty sure at one point in her life she smelled like patchouli. Go ahead Jen, deny it!
So you see...I was completely, wholly, and totally, prejudiced against hippies.
To call Jen that, though is really...not right. It certainly doesn't encompass all that she is. So here she was, this tiny, loud (oh yes, you can tell she's loud even on the Internet!), pink dread locked woman. I've no idea how we linked up but she challenged every prejudice I had formed, knocked down every barrier I had. She, without even knowing it, became someone I looked up to immensely. She has never greeted anything I've brought her with anything other than love, even while she read me the riot act a time or two! I deserved it. Yes, many is the time I've been wrong and she has counseled me lovingly even while giving me hell for being such an ass.
Naked Jen isn't just a friend. She's never afraid to roll up her sleeves (or take off the whole shirt) and help out. At my wedding the cake was unceremoniously dumped upon the table, the flowers weren't arranged, the topper sat on the side, undone and alone. Naked took one look at that and decided that would not do at all and lovingly arranged everything, and I do mean everything. She soon had a crew of people futzing with the centerpieces which obviously needed a little more oomph, oh! and the candles on the head table. Between Naked Jen and our amazing friends (and begrudgingly dsd although he is DEAD to me, in that special 8 th grade way that only a boy who hurts your friend can be) when we entered our reception it was simply beyond belief. I think my Jr. Bridesmaid Miranda said it best "you got married at Hogworts!" and it did look a bit like the great dining hall. If Naked had more time I'm fairly certain she could have suspended the candles in thin air, or conjured the night sky.
Naked Jen was born at the wrong time, perhaps. She really is a wise woman, a sage. Can't sleep? She's got a tincture for that. Having a panic attack? A tea will show up on your door. Pregnant? Sticky baby tea is for you. Bless her and her organics, she has helped me so many times. It's a good thing she was born now because she surely would have been hung for witchcraft! She is certainly not a witch, but she really might be a good fairy. A good fairy with a great shoe collection! Jen and I do have many things in common. We are both vegetarians and animal lovers. We both love pink. We both love our pets like people, and believe beyond a shadow of a doubt there is a soul in there. You might not think it given her moniker, but she is actually quite a clothes horse!
So yeah. She takes off her clothes. So what? She's all about empowerment and love. Body image and accepting yourself. Jen trills her triumphs from the mountaintops and wrenches open her heart to share her grief. She doesn't know any other way to be and for that I am so grateful. Naked isn't just naked in body, she is naked in soul. I am truly grateful to her for so many things. Including bringing me closer to God. I shudder to think of the friend and all the love I would have missed out on if I hadn't gotten over myself. Jen is in a word: spectacular.
That's why, when she snuck off behind the big Christmas tree with our photographer, Zach and I quickly scampered up after her. We weren't going to miss getting our picture taken with Jen at our wedding. And honestly? I love the pink dreads. They are my favorite of all her hairstyles. She is a natural pink head. Pinknette? hmmm...

Don't wear a Maxi dress in NYC and other lessons learned.

Max ate this whole pie at Benny Todino's in Hoboken

Very tired Mommy and Baby after a long car ride.

Max rocking it Bruno Style in Times Square. Diaper and sandals. Klassy.

My suggestion for a new balloon for the Macy's parade.

Sweet Baby Max, ZD and I just got back from a lovely trip to NYC to visit Max's Godfather Sean (also ZD's producing partner) and his fiance Hallie (my awesome friend who just made Rockette! How cool is that?) Max is almost one, it's about dang time he saw the Big Apple! Talk about a lot of stimulus for a wee one. He proved again, to be a total rockstar. Per usual.

Me? Not so much. I am so friggin out of shape and just a friendly suggestion, a maxi dress is a NO in the city. I shudder to think about all the wet that it picked up and slapped about my ankles for ten straight hours. I actually wrapped it in a plastic bag it was so grody I didn't even want it near the other laundry. Ewww.

One of the items on our City agenda was to look for Hallie's wedding gown. To anyone in NYC may I recommend Birnbaum & Bullock? The atmosphere is fabulous. Second Story Loft warehouse space, amazing gown and the kindest most helpful man there. They didn't even mind Sweet Baby Max crawling all over and kissing himself in the reflection of their floor to Ceiling Mirror. I cannot recommend them enough. And the sight of Hallie in 'THE' dress stopped all of us in our tracks. Including Baby Max. Just stunning!!! After that we headed to Little Italy and Chinatown where I painstakingly resisted bringing home 200 little turtles. Poor little guys just looked like the needed to come home and have me force my FIL to build them a little pond. I resisted...barely.

We ended the night with some amazing Italian Food in the Village at Palma. Again, I cannot rave about the atmosphere or the food enough. Although I didn't get to eat much of my dinner as Baby Max ate almost all of my Agnolotti con Spinacci. They were uber cool even though Max had a little, shall we say 'accident' and ended the evening a bit exposed. If loving a fat baby in a diaper is wrong, I don't want to be right!

That skin! That Chub!

Since he hasn't had cake yet, he did let me eat my own cupcake from Magnolia Bakery. Delish.

All in all it was a great trip, and Pack the House Productions got a lot of work done which is what it was all about! Well, that and wedding gown shopping.