So remember when?

Remember when I said something good was coming? Well...what? 48 hours and one phone call later we hastily purchased a ticket to ride for this morning so that Zach could fly off to Los Angeles for a job interview. And not just a job, a like foot in the door, career making job! Whatever happens, please think good thoughts for him tomorrow as his interview is in the morning.

So he's home in LA and going to see Dub, Mahmood and Zuzu tonight and I am so jealous!

But here is the thing, if (when...WHEN) he gets a great job in LA and we head back it will be bittersweet. It's no longer a case of oh-my-God-when-can-we-go-home and is now but-wait!-I-was-really-starting-to-like-it-here.

I do. I love D.C. I love the weather, the people, the atmosphere. I always wanted a big family and never really had one, it was just me and my mom and she tried desperately to be everything I needed. She was and is a rockstar, but I always wished for aunts and uncles and grandparents nearby and I love that Max has this at his fingertips. Wherever he goes in this house there is someone ecstatic to see him, cuddle him, dance with him and love him.

i'll miss that.

I'll miss the rain and how green it is. I can picture us living here, getting a cute townhouse in Georgetown, raising Max and hopeful #2. Having a real life here.

What is that about? I'll still pack my bags and head home with a happy heart! But how odd, to realize that even while I was resisting living anywhere else than LA, DC has crept in and made a little home in my heart.

I've given up trying to control anything anymore, I'm just turning it all over. Whatever will be will be, wherever we live we will make a home. I am just thrilled that Zach got this interview and whatever the outcome is; it's nothing but good.

Kicked when you're down...(or not.)

This weekend Kelly fulfilled her Glambassador Duties at the Glamour Magazine event. What fun! Seriously? Women will take you OUT for a free tote bag with some Calvin Klein slippers and Lancome lipstick in it. Baby Max had to play defense and protect his (I want a new one) stroller! He was run over no less than three times in the mad rush to secure a goody bag. Ladies, calm down! There's enough for everyone.

Kelly and I at the event. I do love Glamour.

MIL even watched the baby so Zach and I could go grab a little nosh at a Mexican restaurant in the mall. Fresh table side guac, need I say more? I also may have been powerless against the little jeans and thermals at Old Navy. Why are kids clothes so cute?

Lately I've been feeling a bit like the song Somethings Coming from West Side Story (one of my favs!). I'm not sure why. No, our circumstances have not changed. We're still living the American Dream, Zach is still working hard at a survival job and I thankfully am still getting residuals. But it's like something has turned...the air is different. Not just that it's fall and I'm all excited about sweaters and boots and my new bangs (I.am.so.shallow.) It's just like something good is coming, I can feel it!

Today we found out that my fabulous aforementioned respectable Honda Accord with all the bells and whistles that I lurve needs repairs that will cost more than we owe on it. Gah. Buying a car right now? Not really in our plans. We will see where we go from here, our credit is fine but really? We'd like to get back to LA, we'd like to get our own place. We've stayed here longer than we planned in order to really pay down some debt and to get back on track. The Ohio Debacle was quite costly, but we're ok ya know? A huge car repair puts a big crimp in the works. We are outgrowing my little sedan by leaps and bounds and car seats and strollers and really how much money do you put into a car to just trade it in six months from now?

Something to ponder...

In the meantime I just feel like something good is coming. It's my little mantra right now, but not in a convincing myself way. More like in an acknowledgement. I've been well taken care of by God or the Universe (whichever you prefer) and though this has been a rough spot, but now I truly feel lighter. And happily expectant! (no I'm not pregnant.)

I'm waiting patiently but excitedly. It's Christmas eve over here. Not even possible car trouble can bring me down tonight.

Something good is coming!

Purse, cars...STROLLERS!

Back in the day I was a purse fiend. Alright, I won't lie I am still a purse fiend. The sight of the new Vuitton can just make my stomach feel all wiggly. And that blue Kooba? I would DIE to have it. But, ah...how the times have changed. If someone dropped a grand in my hands to shop I have to admit, I wouldn't buy a bag. I'd get a new stroller.

WHO AM I????

When Dub and I were pregnant we realized there was a whole other LA world hierarchy. The pecking order of the stroller. Up until then we had been unaware, knowing that your car (Both had respectable H0nda Accords with all the bells and whistles, but oh! how I dream of a CX-9now. So practical, I used to dream of a slick lil BMW convertible) or your purse and sunglasses were an immediate outward sign of your status in LA.

But in the Mommy word? It's all about the stroller! Both of us dreamed of the Bugaboo, which at the time was the ultimate. We dreamed of it, discussed which color we would get...oh, the Bugaboo. Swoon. It was out of the price range for both of us obviously (and knowing what I know now I wouldn't spend the money on it even if I had it!) and so the researching began on what to get...we both settled on the Maxi Cosi Foray. Sort of a Bugaboo knock off. Loved it. And it was only $400! Done and done! Except...shortly before the one year warranty was up, the brake on mine broke. Yeah. I've been trying since JUNE to get a hold of someone to even instruct me where to go to pay to have it fixed, much less attempt to have it fixed from the warranty.

In the mean time, since it's been broken rendering it useless for places like the Zoo which is all hill and you desperately need a brake for it, I've been using the little Graco umbrella stroller we purchased to take on vacation with us and I've become totally aware of what I REALLY need in a stroller. Things which neither the Foray or the umbrella have!

I need a cup holder for mommy. A real live one that can handle a friggin Starbucks. I also need a snack tray for Baby Max with a cup holder. He is at the point where he wants a snack in the stroller. Neither stroller we have now has a place to put a snack or even rest a sippy cup (I am

under no delusion that even with a snack tray the sippy cup won't be tossed on the floor, I'll still be retrieving it I'm sure) I need a big fat storage basket underneath, I need a nice big sun shade to cover the baby, I need the seat to recline flat so the bambino can nap whilst I shop!

And...I need it to look cool. Cause when it comes down to it, I'm still appearance conscious.

I'm looking at these:

The City Jogger Mini. (It does have a snack tray) or The Graco Quatro Tour Sport. I must admit, I like the look of it, it comes in several colors...a little unsure of the footrest for the bambino. What do you have? What do you love about it?

Wordless Wednesday

Two Boys, two sippy cups, one Elmo.

It's never enough.

It's not enough. the longest I have been away from the baby since he was born is 7 hours. That's how much I love Paul McCartney.

I've not missed much and yet I feel like I've missed everything. I miss him the moment he goes to bed. I am jealous when he smiles or reaches for others and yet one of the things I treasure most about him is how friendly he is.

I've kissed his tiny toes every day and it's not enough.

I first nursed him when he was three hours old and I nursed him not three minutes ago before he fell asleep and it's not enough.

I've felt the weight of him grow heavier and stronger every day and it's not enough.

I have breathed in the scent of him a million times and it's not enough.

I have received a million gummy smiles and it's not enough.

He's given me hundreds of sloppy gross baby kisses and it's not enough.

He's shared his toys and his tears and I cannot get enough.

It's going to fast!! I had no idea it would be this fun, this fast and I cannot get enough of him.

It's been a long couple of weeks, capped off tonight with a fall in the bath and a small cut above his eye I'm sure tomorrow it will be a shiner, and yet..I just want more. From the moment he physically left my body he's steadily moving away from me, and that's just the way it's supposed to be, but I haven't had enough of holding him close. I know have many more years of snuggles (God willing) but I want more of him. I want to just inhale him.

I'm addicted to my baby.

The Roller Coaster.

Good heavens people. What a week. Or week and a half really. Stinker has been sick, sick, sick and it's been a comedy of errors trying to get the tangled web of what's going on figured out. In the end it's nothing serious, all simple innocent childhood issues but in a perfect storm of 'well it could be..' symptoms. So, the final word is: two ear infections, Roseola, and a severe Amoxicillan reaction and a cold. YAY!

Ear infections are cleared now, high fever gone, Roseola cleared, and now the last of the Amox rash is clearing. His palms and the bottoms of his feet are finally clearing thanks to Dr. Courtney and her doses of baby Zyrtec. Today we actually went out and about and not one person pointed and said "that kid is sick!" which did in fact happen when I took him to the grocery store. It looked like he had a raging case of the measles and a very snotty nose (which is still around...mucus is my kryptonite so...gag) so I can't blame them but it stinks to have your little one pointed at in such a manner. Personality wise he is almost back to normal. He's started smiling and giggling again, giving lots and lots of kisses. He now knows where his ears are that's for sure! Bless his little heart. I'm so glad to see him on the mend.

My birthday came and went in the midst of this and it was lovely, I got well and truly spoiled by the inlaws with the second holy trinity: Sephora, Nordstroms, Tiffany. And Zach spoiled me with sweaters and roses and an upcoming trip to the Shaw and Stratford Festivals. Lovely!

****

The sick.

We're home. We had a fabulous time (which I'll tell you all about later, which by my timeline means that post will be up...oh, February of '10.) and now we're sick.

And by 'we're sick' I mean the Royal We. King Max is sick.

It's our first sickness here at the American Dream and I'll be honest...I'm not handling it all that well. It's ripping my heart out. Case in point, we brought him in for a second check up when his fever was still at 102 while on Tylenol and after 48 hours of antibiotics and as Dr. Courtney (She's young. She's blonde. She's awesome) was making some notes on his chart I noticed it said "nervous new mom" ah, yes. I can't even pretend to be offended by that because I am like a SNL sketch of a new mom lately. I am a little embarrassed but they treated me very fairly at the pediatricians so I can't complain.

So, a double ear infection. Yikes. Poor Monkey is burning up, and miserable. Not his happy, silly self. Although (dangit) Lazy Town still brings a smile and a giggle when that rascally Robbie Rotten is on.

Max is taking it all in stride though, except the pediatricians visit. Let's just say that getting his temperature taken is not on his list of experiences to revisit. Those screams are the worst I've ever heard come out of his precious little mouth. And then...Dr. Courtney dared to look in his ears! The torture! Honestly? It looked and sounded like torture. She said today his ears looked worse than two days ago. Sigh.

So I've got a message for ESPN24 or whatever channel ESPN is up to. You don't need to air any more Strongest Man or Woman competitions. I can tell you right where to find them. In any children's hospital in the world. It was really tough for me to be strong enough for Max who was freaking out...and this is just an ear infection!

I'm thinking of all the mommies I know who are strong for their children, the ones who have cancer,or breathing problems, heart problems, the ones who are really truly sick. The mommies whose babies need test after test, blood draw after blood draw, surgery after surgery.

I'm thinking of my mother, because I was one of those babies.

I'm thinking of Dub who has found a strength I've never seen in her before she had Zuzu. Of my other best friend J (more on her soon!) whose son is healthy but is on the spectrum and she has handled all his therapies with a strength and grace that I never saw a glimpse of while we were drinking Pepsi and smoking cigs late into the night during college.

I went to Childrens Hospital with Dub and Zuzu for his blood test while I was home and I was just unprepared. I asked Dub how she didn't cry every time she went there and she said "Sadly, you get used to it"

So my hats off to you moms. In case no one has told you lately, you are amazing.