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Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Here Comes the Sun

Did you kids watch the HBO Rock and Roll Hall of Fame concert? If not you should it's amazing. Sting, Stevie Wonder, Simon and Garfunkel, B.B. King...it's awesome (for lack of a better word). For me the most moving part was (surprise!) when Paul Simon, Graham Nash and David Crosby sang Here Comes the Sun. I've decided this is going to be my new theme song, a la Ally McBeal (hello 1996). This song is recurring in my life and ya know what? Maybe it's trying to teach me something.

I knew this girl once, man...she rubbed me the wrong way when I met her. Just everything about her made me mad. But she loved me anyway as a friend and she wore me down! We became friends and she taught me so much, forced me to confront things about myself and my fears that maybe weren't so pretty. On New Years Eve she showed up at a theatre I was performing at to tell me (and my then boyfriend) that she loved us. It was a NYE task at the party she was attending, they had to act as though this was the last night on earth and tell people they loved how they felt. She drove all the way into Hollywood on NYE to tell us.  She told me she loved me and never for one moment did I doubt it.

She always used to say:
 "You can't fly if you don't jump out of the plane!'

Man, I can picture her clear as day telling me that, extending her arms and tilting to an angle. She lived life in the moment at every moment. I wasn't nearly as close to her as some, but she made a huge impact on my life, she blessed me with long talks and emails and she blessed me with teaching me how to live a little bit. I'll never forget her, or the lessons I learned from her.

We got an email right around Halloween asking us for good thoughts as they had found a spot on her lung. We gave every good thought, prayer and bargain we could give.
When the diagnosis of lung cancer came I emailed her and she told me  she was gonna kick this things ass and she'd be home for Thanksgiving so I should make the mashed potatoes, ma, lumpy just like she liked em.
She never lost her sense of humor. I never saw her again. She didn't take visitors, and even if she had I was pretty low on the totem pole, although I know she would have welcomed me with open arms. I honestly believe she didn't want any of us to remember her frail and in a bed. She was so vibrant, that's what she wanted to leave us with.
She died in January. Gone way too soon. Gone way too fast. Not enough people got to experience her life force because there is NO other word for it. She was a force, a force of nature, a force of Joy. Just an all around FORCE.
Her funeral was astonishing. We enjoyed, yes enjoyed, fantastic stories about her told by amazing people. We laughed and oh holy hell did we cry.  She had been in a cast of RENT and at the reception following the funeral her cast busted out with Seasons of Love. Everyone in the place held their breath till it was over, and then we all cried the ugly cry.

One of the things I remember most was her sisters talking about how she passed, peacefully as they played Here Comes the Sun on the guitar and sang to her. Can you imagine a better song to leave this world too?



Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, 
and I say it's all right 


Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter 
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here 
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun 
and I say it's all right 


Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces 
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here 
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun 
and I say it's all right 


Sun, sun, sun, here it comes... 
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes... 
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes... 
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes... 
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes... 


Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting 
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear 
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, 
and I say it's all right 
It's all right 



It has been a long cold lonely winter since we left Los Angeles, but maybe the sun is coming...and I'm going to try to be open to what it brings and be vibrant like she was, be brave like she was and tell the people I love that I love them like she did.

I guess she is still teaching me a thing or two.

Smithsonian Merry Go Round.

3 comments:

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

That is a great post!

shaun o'hagan said...

beautiful.

Life with Kaishon said...

What a wonderful way to remember your friend. I am stopping over from SITS this afternoon. Your son is ADORABLE! Oh my gosh so cute. What a great blog header!