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Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Upshot.

We've had a lot of changes and since I've moved all the way accross the country I felt like I needed a new blog too. I'll transfer all the past posts over here eventually, but King Max naps in short bursts so it may take a bit. Silly infant must come first and all that.
So, if you've missed it or you're new...Welcome! Here's the upshot.
* I know I'm pregnant. I don't care if two test say no, bitches I. Am. Knocked. Up.
* Lo and behold test #3 says PREGNANT. Tests 4-27 confirm it. Maybe a little ocd about peeing on a stick? You be the judge.
* Off to Doctor's. Hmpf. I know when I got pg. She says I'm FOUR weeks behind and things don't look so good. Happy anniversary to me and Z.
* Dub is pregnant too! This is so friggin exciting! Like, every let's pretend game we ever played in elementary school.
* Dub's DD is my original DD before Doc K. stole four weeks from me.
* Doc K gives me two of the four weeks back, but I know better. New DD 8/8/08. nice.
* Off to Christmas with the Fam and the pup. Begin puking over the Holiday. Yay!
* NYE. Puking and Dexter. Good times.
* Doc K give me my two weeks back! But no one will change the DD cause 8/8/08 is uber cool. Curses!
* More puking.
* Supposedly there's a Honeymoon period of pregnancy, is it coming?
* Nope. More puking!
* I'm getting huge. People are starting to say "any minute now, huh?" any minute...in about four months so STFU!
* I'm like Jabba the Hut. Since Sammy looks a wee bit like that scrappy muppet I'm embracing it. Method Acting.
* Considering getting a bikini clad woman to chain to me and dance to entertain me.
* Tossing my cookies is getting harder and more painful what with the large turkey taking up most of my belly space. It's all worth it!
* Dub and I spend every day floating in the pool. Heaven. So lucky to live in So.Cal. Swoony.
*Tour the Hospital with ZRD, Mahmood and Dub. Serious giggles. Get in trouble just like in school.
* We're delivering in the Disney Dumbo wing of St. Joseph's, lots of cute art about.
* Dub points out "didn't they take Dumbo away from his Mommy?" laugh till we cry, or cry till we laugh. Either way.
* Baby Class with Dub and Mahmood and ZRD! Fascinating...
* 35 week check up with U/S. Baby is upside down. No natural delivery for me unless the kid can flip.
* Ever seen a big pregnant woman laying upside down on an ironing board on an incline from the couch with cold peas on her belly? A feat worthy of Cirque de Soliel lemme tell ya.
* Should have taken pics.
* No flipping of baby. C-section it is. Shed a few tears...but after ZRD asks DR K what would have happened 100 years ago and she says we would have died, feeling pretty groovy about C-section.
* Uh-oh. Baby is not only breach (Head under right ribs, booty by left hip.) But his legs are jacknifed. Meaning up over his head. Will he need surgery/braces/therapy for his hips?
* Dub's water breaks! We're off to the Hospital!
* Everytime I go to the Loo the Dr's and nurses keep trying to get me to get in bed...it's not me today people! I'll be back on Saturday!
* Labor is fun! We're cracking jokes, taking pictures! Oh wait, maybe it's not so fun. Nope. Not fun...EPIDURAL!!!!* Precious baby Isaiah enters the world at 11:59 p.m. July 20th. I am in love.
* Try to squeeze in as much Zuzu time as I can before my baby makes his appearance!
* Feeling wierd about arbitrarily choosing baby's birthday. Must get over it.
* Night before C-section. So nervous. Wierd cramping, sorta painful. Nerves?
* No dumbass. Not nerves, those cramps coming and going? CONTRACTIONS. I'm wicked smart.
* Get to hospital, contractions are 2 minutes apart. Fascinating. I'm so nervous. I think terrified is the word. I've never been more scared in my life. Want to change my mind...so scared.
* They take me in...they tell me there will be some pulling and tugging but nothing bad.
* LIARS! The final scene from Braveheart runs through my mind. Am I being gutted like William Wallace?
* Baby is finally visible! Doctor say "Definatly BOY!"
* Also says "I'm not leaving THAT in there"...what is that? I still wonder.
* He's here! Legs akimbo! Cries, best sound ever.
* I'm freaking out. Must. get. off. table.
* They bring me the baby. Swoon. I say hello and he reaches out and touches my face. The whole world changes.
* Man, those legs are way up over his head. Make jokes about 'good thing it's not a girl!'
* Everyone comes to visit me in the hospital and see Baby Max, who is gorgeous! I've never felt more loved in my whole life.
* C-sections suck.
* Settle into lovely routine with Baby Max, ZRD and weekly dinners and lunches at Aroma with Dub, Mahmood and Zuzu.
* Life is good.
* Zach gets dream job in Akron. Will we leave lovely LA?
*We do. Heart broken. We move to Akron.
* Honsetly? Akron might be hell. The people are nice but instead of hellfire there's Lake Effect Snow. Either way...it's horrible.
* After 6 weeks the theatre closes. Now we are out of work with an infant in a place we loathe far away from my sister and Mahmood and Zu. Many tears.
*Next four months are worst of my life. Feel like I've lost everything. Just keep saying Max is healthy and fine and that is all that matters.
* move to DC to stay with the IL's.
* My precious, sweet first baby Minky passes away on the drive from Hell/Ohio to DC. Can I loose anything else that means the world to me?
* Don't answer that God.
*Max is safe and happy. All that matters.
* So, that catches us up to day! I am certain to be more optomistic. Things have been so.damn.bad. They can only get better!!

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