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Friday, April 30, 2010

Clowns are more evil than birds.

Being sick is for the birds. I wonder where that phrase came from...but anyway it works for me because I hate birds. Well, truly, they hate me. It started when I was four and a merry band of evil geese chased little yellow-London Fog- coated me out into the middle of a very (thank the heavens) frozen Viele lake. Had to be rescued. True story. (also, when I say true story I really mean it...Zach is the teller of tall tales, hence: TOTT, but weird hist just happens to me on the regular. Such is my life!) Soon after that I realized that perhaps the geese had told all the other birds in some sort of bird email blast of their being chased off the lake and loudly admonished by the South Boulder Parks and Rec guy and so I had a mark on my head. A bird vendetta was issued against me.

Get her.

I have been dive bombed, had my hair grabbed and pulled, bitten by a pigeon in NY (he just flew up and BIT ME! And yes...a tetnus and rabies shot was had.) I have never, knock on wood, been how to say this delicately - ummmm pooped upon. No, but poor Dub was marked simply for being my sis and she has been baptised twice by the flying demon birds.

Is it any wonder I became a cat person?

I hate birds and they hate me. It's a very symbiotic relationship. Wait, no it's not. I never really learned symbiosis because I was crap at science. Actually, I might have been good at science but I never really went. My instincts told me that hanging out in the student center and playing SWISH would be way more fun. The power of following your instincts kids. Lesson for the day.

I feel guilty though. Saying bad things are for the birds. I mean they are still God's creatures.
Lucky for me there is something that I hate more than birds. Clowns. And I think we can all agree that Clowns are more evil than birds. And surely there is the devil's work those creepy red painted smiled and horrifically demented eyes. The proof is in the pudding people. 20 million horror films simply cannot be wrong!

I mean seriously. Clowns will bring the end of days. Mark my words.
I'm pretty sure there is zero photoshopping going on in this picture because clowns are just that evil. If I can find who it belonged to first I will have them come here and prove it.


Allyson & Jere said...

I could NOT agree more! Clowns are the creepiest! Why does anyone EVER think they're a good idea?

This post however, TOTALLY a good idea! Made me laugh. Sorry about your bird issues, that really sucks. I've never had a problem. But, they have totally peed on my Moms head...that was awesome.

Cool picture.

Salt said...

There are few things I fear more in this world than birds. Especially geese. I was chased too by this horrible demon bird with outstretched wings that hissed at me. I had nightmares for a week.

Maybe that's why I love cats so much too?

I also have a strong dislike and major distrust of clowns. That mushroom clown cloud is amazing.

I hope you are feeling better today!

Amo said...

Um, yes, clowns scare the crap out of me. There was an episode of the Ghost Whisperer a couple of weeks ago that had a guy dressed up as a clown in it and I couldn't watch it by myself. Bozo scares me!

Gail said...

Clowns and birds are both evil. I have no use for either.

Allyson & Jere said...

Umm hey, me again. Just stopping by to say, I gave you a bloggy award. I know, you're probably far to cool for such things. But seriously, you're one of my faves, it had to be done. So, stop by and check it out.

Oh, and I still hate clowns. And i saw a truck on the freeway the other day advertising for clowns. EWW!

Sarah said...

Yup another who is freaked out by clowns. I was scarred for life when I watched "It"!

Carolyn said...

I came across your blog on BlogFrog and I am now hooked and a new follower!

BTW - if you ever need a cupcake to go with your "mommy juice" check out my blog http://acuppycakelife.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Clowns are creepy!!! Great blog! Found you on MBC following from www.ecomodernmom.com