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Friday, April 9, 2010

I think I'm having an affair.

Oh Target, how I love you so. I do. I crave your company every single day, and you always leave me wanting more.  Please never leave me, because I would surely perish without, at the very least, bi-weekly visits.

The moment I arrive I feel giddy, almost drunk and swoony. How do you do this to me every time? I've no resistance to you. None at all.

You are such a temptress, Target. You tease me with bargains on skin care and organic items and then BAM! You blindside me with cute strappy sandals and adorable designer shirts.

I am powerless to resist you, I don't even try anymore. I find excuses to visit...I just need diapers. I need chewies for the dog.  I need a bra. I need...something.

Our affair is a lasting one, we will never outgrow one another. Even if I became a millionaire tomorrow Target, I would never forsake you.

My husband, he knows. He's not happy about it, but like the good man he is he chooses to view our love affair as one of my bad habits. It's as if I chew my nails or pick at zits. Not pleasant, but he loves me enough to overlook it. Most of the time. I neither chew my nails or pick at zits, so at least I've got that going for me.

You're good to me though, Target. You send me home with gifts for him as well. You send me home with razors and DVD's. Little things you know he would enjoy, and I think he appreciates it. It makes him more tolerant of our love affair. Thank you for your thoughtfulness.

Other people recognize your glory too. How sweetly you've bedecked me. I have no shame when someone says "I love your outfit" and I realize I am head to toe showing your love.

Whenever I have a problem I run to you first and you have never once let me down. From Halloween to Christmas. From intimate dinner parties to last minute birthday celebrations. I can always count on you. It only makes me love you the more.

I crave your sheets and towels, new bedding and end tables. And oh! Our online affair only adds to my need to see you more. You've added more and more to your beauty products on line, and real wood furniture! Thank heavens my husband doesn't check my internet history or he would surely be jealous of all the time we spend together, without  actually being together.

Oh? You've got some new great baseball equipment that's perfect for this Summer? Tiny gloves so he can teach our son to play? Perfect. That will surely ease his anger, and even provide us with more time together as I would be utterly useless at helping teach the baby baseball!

I know...We visited just this morning but I already feel your call. I love this new little tank shirt I got, perhaps I need it in another color? It was only $9.99. Maybe when the baby wakes we will sneak on out to you.

What's that you say? You have new Elmo toys and Summer clothes for him?

We'll be right there.

20 comments:

Sarah said...

It's like you can read my thoughts! :) Seriously, Target is the best!!

Shari@Tales from the Sippy Cup said...

Um...yeah, I've been having this same affair. I think I have "snuck out" 3 times this week!! And BTW did you see the upcoming launch of the Cynthia Vincent for Target shoes?? Oh no...

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/blogs/the-thread/THREAD-First-Look-Cynthia-Vincent-for-Target-89729727.html

Minky Moo said...

We can all be sisterwives!

Oh Shari...I MUST have those yellow wedges. Must. Thank you for the link, my heart skipped a beat.

Babes Mami said...

I looove Target. Just when I think I can't anymore they have something better then before. Luckily my husband shares my love of Target so we both get lost together.

Priscilla - Wheelchair Mommy said...

oh my goodness!!! you are too funny woman!!

I love me some target ... they are only 5 minutes away and many of the employess know me by my wheels.

Cathy said...

Found you from Salt Says....so glad I did. I love me some Target. I live in MN, where Target HQ is, so there are Target's like every 5 miles. Practically. Not really, but you know what I mean. Anyway, I go in for a few things and leave with a cart full of stuff...every. single. time.

Lis @ ATruckerWife said...

First, I love love love those shoes!!!

I love target. I swear I walk in there for one thing and walk out with 50 minus the one thing I needed.

Amo said...

If I could, I would spend all of my money at Target. All of it! I love your ode to Target. I think many of us feel the same way!

Salt said...

Are we going to have to form some sort of support group for this?

I go like 4 times a week. I got two new dresses that are so cute and have gotten so many compliments on both of them. Target is my hero.

My husband loves Target too. He is an enabler.

Cynthia said...

This is a hilarious post...and oh so true. LOVE the wedges. I just saw you on SITS and glad I stopped over!

Allyson & Jere said...

Loved your love letter to Target. Sadly, my affair has been stunted by our move. Since now it's like the "ridiculous" distance of a whole 5 miles away, it is not as convenient as it once was. Well that, and the less money we have. But anyway, enjoyed the post, and I loved your shoes in the pic as well.

themommydaddy said...

I've been having an affair for years with Borders Books.

Life with Kaishon said...

Did you get those shoes from Target? They are pure hotness! LOVE them : )

Amber Events said...

Sometimes I think it'd be best if I were to just run into Target, throw $200 on the floor, then run out.

Kassie said...

I think you wrote this about me! I LOVE target. I'll be sitting around on a Sunday thinking I need to go to Target. For no reason but to check out what is on sale.

Vava (aka Virginia) said...

Shame on you! HA! Oh, my NEW friend. You are a hoot! Yes, m'am. Tar-jay rocks my world! Can't wait to delve into your blog!

Minky Moo said...

Ah, you are all my people!
Amber, I sometimes joke that they really ought to just charge me $100 dollars to enter.

I may have gone back today. I may have gotten another pair of shoes. And maybe a dress. Well, I had to get kitty litter!

Cashier said...

lol I LOVE Target! As usual, I go in for one thing and end up spending $50 in 10 minutes or less. :-/

Claude said...

Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!!!

I loved reading this! I have never been in a target, can you believe that?! I mean, it's not like I live in the middle of nowhere: I'm in Montreal, Canada! Pretty big city, no?

Love the sandals!

Dawana said...

Girl, it's as if I wrote this letter myself. I love Target. My hubby is lucky that A) The closest target is 15 miles away and B) I don't have a job. I used to go there damn near EVERY DAY after work cause it was on my drive home. I, too, would dress head-to-toe in Target- not ashamed. In our recent broke-ness, I have forsaken target for Walmart, but I will say that Walmart does NOT have sexy, stylish clothes like Target. So I will always love Target for that.